EXPERIENCE OF THE DOMESTIC

The ideas of power within the domestic space became more apparent since the ‘lockdown’ locks people into a space that cannot be escaped.

This need to ‘escape’ not only makes the idea of home beyond the house much more apparent but also forces the inhabitants to negotiate spaces as both domestic and work have been brought together. 

IDEA OF TIME

Staying in a joint family it was very evident for me to witness so many mixed reactions from people across all age groups, some happy for not attending school and giving exams, while dada dadi were always restricted and instructed to not go out at any cost while dad the only person who goes down to buy anything needed.

The whole schedule of the house has changed from sleeping to getting up in the morning or having food etc while most of the time is spent on our devices like laptops and phones to attend lectures, work from home and others. Hygiene has become of utmost importance in the house because of so many people staying together and also the shift in the diet.

In my house, the women of the house used to come together during most of the day and would separate when both the men were home, but during the lockdown the 2 rooms in the 2BHK work as separate households in one house, while the women meet only in the kitchen. Since the condition of the house is tight, the young adults in the house avoid entering the bedroom and clear zones have been demarcated, which cannot be intervened unless one has a justifiable reason to do so. 

One can ask oneself the spaces women in the house used to inhabit in the house when the men weren’t home, and in the absence of children during school hours in a joint family. 

The boundaries do soften among young adults and women in the house, but the claim to a particular place/space has become stronger.

NEW COOK, NEW FOOD, NEW METHODS

When her in-laws came to their house, Vaishali moved to her mother’s place who was staying with them. There wasn’t enough room for everyone to sleep in the house, since most people had back and knee problems. This decision shifted the domestic responsibilities to her husband, with very little time for him to prepare for anything.

Now his day began with looking for dabbas of flour and rice and toor dal while thinking about whether the geyser was switched off after his mother had taken a bath. Not to mention, he wasn’t very pleased with his wife’s sudden decision. His mother would tell him the recipes from the living room sofa while he followed them, developing his own quick cooking hacks, methods of chopping. He began clicking photos of his daily ‘menus’ and sending them on the family WhatsApp group. He was suddenly proud of something his wife had been doing for most of her life now. But he learned a new skill, developed a new ritual.

KAAM CORONA

The pandemic has changed the working demographic and restructured routines of members of a house. Before COVID and the lockdown, we relied on my mom and housemaid to do the majority of the domestic work, now it is split between us.

Not just our domestic work, our professional work patterns have changed too. I haven’t seen my dad take a day off and not go to our gas station. But now he goes there only half a day and manages the majority of his work over phone calls.

My college too shifted to the online medium and changed the methodology of working. This change of medium and jobs has created newer routines that construct our new reality now that demolishes the existing set structure and gender roles of a house.

CELLULARISATION AND CLAIMS

Claims to a place in the house has strengthened during the lockdown, where members of the house have formed their bubbles in which they reside, and ask the ‘other’ to leave if they’re in ‘their place’. These cells are complete in their own way with certain kinds of supplies, the idea of the bag pack opens itself up. What you carry with you, is something you wouldn’t interact with the other to get. Therefore there is a certain kind of disappearance that we experience every day.

Boundaries have become much more apparent.

REINFORCED RELATIONS/ CONFLICTS- ESCAPES

The lockdown that came with the virus forced an increased interaction with family, and increased engagement in the home and each others’ affairs.

It meant that that escape from each other in a physical and mental capacity became impossible. And therefore was a reinforcement of the relationships we shared, and the conflicts which had earlier become faded in the background. 

Before the pandemic, even when staying in a joint family didn't seem that difficult because most of the time we used to keep on doing our things at school, college, office and it used to be peaceful at home during the day time. On holidays also, all of us coming together didn't bother us much. 

Pandemic has shown us that even if it's our family, it isn't easy for us to stay together under the same roof for 24 hours straight. 

JOINT, BUT IS IT?

Since the lockdown started last year, staying in a joint family was all fun and games in the initial days of it. As the lockdown kept on extending, spending 24 hours with all the family members became somehow difficult not only for me but also for my family members. 

The escapes were then sought in the form of online connections, new nooks of the building were explored as hiding spots etc.

CHANGE IN THE BEHAVIOUR

My father got a heath leave from his duty two months ago, and his behaviour and involvement in this house has increased. Not only my father, me and my brother have also engaged in all the activities which my mother use to do. In the morning, from sweeping to help in kitchen.My mother has got six more helping hands and it really made us realise how difficult it is to coordinate multiple work.

There are approximately 50+ positive cases within 50 meters of my house, and my father is too much worried about it. He doesn’t allow anybody in the house to step out to buy anything. He himself goes out and gets anything required. The gas cylinder which is delivered is also kept outside the house to clean before taking it inside.

One habit which has increased is the use of mobile, television and laptop/computer. My mother and father learned a lot of new social media applications and the use of it is too much. The schedule has changed to an extent that, rather sleeping before 12:00 -12:30 am, everyone sleeps after 3 am and wakes up after 10am. This is because of the over use of this mobile phones. To stay inside the house for such a long time is stressful because of the habit of constantly moving from one place to another, but my father said he can stay like this inside the house for another 1 year.

RECONNECT

Baba works abroad. Every year in March baba comes to India for his annual meeting and this year too he came. This was the time when the Covid scare had just started. I remember calling baba and telling him to postpone his visit because the airport journey would expose him to the virus, but still, he decided to come. After quarantining for 5 days, he attended his meetings and before he could go, the lockdown was announced. With all flights being canceled, he had no option but to stay with us. While everyone else was uncertain and scared, I was happy because this was the first time after many years that all the four of us were together with no baggage of time. Before all this, every time we met as either guest in his house or he was in ours.