Nice thing is now when i play, compose or improvise - alongside Bayati, I know exactly what type of mood i will become on certain notes and how (within a traditional context) they relate to each other. Change the mood, infuence the color, how light or dark, heavy, mellow, they can be, turn the passage moment.
i am aware which note i have to land on, or build a phrase on to have a change of mood and color, i know which notes have gate/modulating properties.. .if i want to shift to another jins...
i also know how to find my way back...
a very nice aspect became that i now can feel a specific note within the mode and its typical function/feel...
it was helpful to sit with my teacher once or twice and analyse an entire taksim with its sayr and central notes, as a method for analysis of this music and what to look out for. But in order for me to internalize the knowledge and understanding, it seems absolutely crucial, that it is myself doing the most of listening, analysing, repeating, copying, digesting. I believe, this has been my experience so far, that intellectual analysis, (especially by someone else, as a passive listener) is not sufficient to gain the actual knowledge and internal skills.
Although my initial thoughts would have brought me further and my very first expectations were wider, than what i in the very end concentrated on, i am satisfied with the outcome of my research and work. I think i was able to overcome certain limitations (what's the word? blocks... ) in my inability to independently approach the music - be it mental, psychological, fears, be it my questions of identitification, rechtfertigung, the bereitschaft to sit every fresh day anew with the theme/topic, questions, search for new music, being able to make desicions within a very wide repertoiry, focus on clear goals, and pieces, being able to put them in a wider context - thus having more understanding what i am playing, performing, learning... i also gained a better understanding for my motivations and also benefits of what i am doing right now...
I am under the impression, that my relation with the Oud has been strengthened as a result - as a secondary outcome. And my faith and belive of being in the right place has grown/manifested.
I used to become rather insecure in my courage and beliefs by reaction, expressions of others. Different encounters i have made let me to question my motivation and the need for this kind of work more than might be necessary, but through my own efforts with the homopathic and intelligent support of my teacher in places that seemed necessary, i have little doubts about the reasons and benefits of what i am learning, and i think i have become more 'my own person' with the oud during the process... the sense of what i am doing seems to have gained more substance, rootedness and internal stability. I am at the same time 'painfully' aware how little insight i really gained compared of the ... (sehr groß und weit) possibilities there are, i concetrated on a mere drop, put it under a microscope to be able to understand the sea...that's mirrored in it. I am aware how much more, modes, pathways, ornaments, ideas there are and i can experience... but i am very happy, that now i know i can continue on this journey to experience sth. i always sensed to really want.
Beethoven, Brahms &co. never made me happy enough, as beautiful music as their wrote i have respect and appreciation for. My love for early modality was firm, but equally my dissatisfaction with its repettivness and limitations of (tools) methods in unfolding and performing it - my sense of thigns, that we can't trace anymore, but that naturally belonged to the music was too big.
Indian music i was able to learn about and participate in for a while very much spoke to me very much in different aspects of it. I was 'taken' (...?) by the fine ornaments, and especially the ability to create a very slow and long storyline with very few notes, and a specific mood in the typical Alabs... yet the focus on very intellectual, sometimes 'mathematical' constructs that go along with it, if one wants to master its art, weren't congruent with what i search for in music as an expression. I need emotion and creativity to be at the center of it. This is what i was searching for as an individuum. However, my insight to one modal tradition has enabled me to engage with vivid modal worlds more consciously, become more curious about different ways of implementing and working with modality.
How can I become fluent in a language? By living with, in and through the language. Similarly I learn to embody music by living with, in and through it.
How to live with the music I can not answer, how can I live with the music becomes
Answers from Peers (Raphael):
Making Choices - based on a sense of connection, emotional
It's a process and takes time, TAKE the time
Listen to a specific Mode/Maqam for a while only
Learning mostly through EARS
Reference: Ross Daly - it does not matter, if you are born into a 'tradition' - it matters how much you engage with it!
Letters (Arabic, Greek) being an entrance 'barrier'
--> learned to
Answers from Peers (Raphael):
Making Choices - based on a sense of connection, emotional
It's a process and takes time, TAKE the time
Listen to a specific Mode/Maqam for a while only
Learning mostly through EARS
Reference: Ross Daly - it does not matter, if you are born into a 'tradition' - it matters how much you engage with it!
Letters (Arabic, Greek) being an entrance 'barrier'
--> learned to