Chapter 3. Fiction

Neptune: M and V, final scene. Photo by Roosa Oksaharju.

MC: And M? If you’ll ever see this, I want to tell you - I was so scared of you. I was scared that you would leave me, but even more so that you would stay. And now I’ve seen war, and death, and destruction, and I wish it was an exaggeration, but it’s not. And I think even after everything, I would still fear you the most. And that’s the most honest thing I could ever tell you. But if there is one memory, I could hold on to through all of this shit that is my life now, one argument for why I still bother living, that would be a memory of you, M, of us, in that corridor. Because for all the fear that I had, for all the fear that I still have, I know, and my whole body consists of this knowledge – love is stronger than fear. It is stronger than war. And even stronger than death. And I know that, because even with everything I’ve been through, I’m still here, still standing, and that’s because I know that I was loved. And you, M, wherever you are, know that you are forever loved, too.

V: Hey

M: M?

V: Your hair is very comfortable.

M: Your shoulder is comfortable, too.

V: Hey

M: M?

V starts humming a tune (Neptune), burying her nose in M’s hair. They sway in the hall, in the long corridor, slowly, hugging each other tightly.


This is the end of Neptune. I am starting this chapter with it because here I am going to discuss everything that helped my play come alive from the beginning to the end. I will examine the production process and address certain challenges that arose during it, as well as analyze the final results together with some most common points from audiences’ feedback.


This chapter will include some more theoretical discussions, namely, on the issues of definitions of documentary theatre, the importance of humor and entertainment in heavily-political narratives, and the problematic nature of staging a queer production under governance of an institution. Here, I will also be explaining most important stylistic, structural and aesthetic choices that were made during staging of Neptune, in particular, the inclusion of elements of drag, camp, and cabaret cultures. All of that is meant to help in answering the following question: What methodological, aesthetical, directorial and acting choices can be made to further enhance and underline the political message of a personal, in this case specifically queer, narrative? As always, I am not sure that I will be able to answer it directly, but the exploration itself is worth a try.


I called the chapter Fiction because even though the play itself is fiction, of course, I believe that staging makes it even more fictionalized due to other people’s visions and imaginations contributing to the end product. It becomes fiction upon fiction.



3.1 Pre-production: initial thoughts and concerns.