By coincidence, when working in rrehearsals in Berlin, Vilja's desire was to impersonate someone and to sing. Her colleagues knew that she had disguised herself as Marily Monrow for Halloween and so she became Marilyn for the begginning of the piece and morphed into the impersonation of a singing worm. The song was chosen by her and the lyrics are from a Finnish Rap song speaking about following one's teenage dreams and going against the status quo of carreer paths and normative life/family choices.

Technosomatics came into the piece in the first initial scene where after several practice sessions all performers where doing their interpretation of it as a ritual to set the energy for the rest of the piece. It also translated into the State of Rave I frame in my research essay connected to this work.

BEFORE

Q: Why would you like to join Power of Nature?

A: At 29 I have decided to explore my own sexuality and queer sociabilities and relationships as a way of looking at different forms of intimacy as a personal and political tool for transformation. I have always been part of queer environments and am now opening up my body and felt experiences to this aspect of life through practice. As a woman I have always felt empowered but have come to realize the difference between thinking it and doing it. I feel this workshop is one more entry point into this field, considering its aspect of being done together with other female identifying subjectivities on their own paths of research and revelation.

Chiara Baldini's Keynote (Chiara Baldini is an independent researcher who studies the evolution of the ecstatic cult in the West) http://www.icpr2016.nl/speakers/chiara-baldini-phd/

• The Greek cults of Dionysius and the menads, the Bacchae, woman who would go into the mountains and practice orgiastic rites infused by psychadelic substances. Dyionisius was considered an androginous god, so eventually effeminate or non binary men were able to join the rites, as well as slaves and foreigners. They were the feasts for the queer, the outcasts, the oppressed who would come together and celebrate the flow of life. Woman were the priestessess who could initiate others into the rites. They were a place for the experimenation with gender fluidity and altered states of conscioussness, letting life flow where it had to go. In the year 1180 BC there are records of mass persecution of these rites. 
• Even before Dionysius and the menads there are records of Cybelle, a liminal Goddess and Priestess. She presided over the liminal spaces, life and death, between gender and consciousness states enabling rites for trance to initiate men, who had to undergo self castration to become priests of Cybelle, the Eunuchs. The technologies of the body involved both here and in Dionysius rites were:  Dancing, Psychotropics, Sexuality as a state of trance // Similar to contemporary uses of sex drugs and techno as potentially shamanic practices.
• In the contemporary world there was a clivage between the Hippies and the Punks. The hippies following into trance music and new age practices that after the 60's went astray from politics, and the Punk scene leading into the techno scene which got estrayed from spiritual practices and also distanced itself further from politics in the 21st Centhury. The question: How to bridge these worlds and make them both more self aware of their politicla dimension for the liberation of gender, identities and the need to conform to consumerist culture and neoliberal and heteronormative conditioning?
• The rave and the party is a a place to be vulnerable, a place that allows for the vulnerability of psychotropic states. How to build these spaces and construct the right settings for these states to emerge? Parties and festivals can allow for these states through ecstatic technologies: the soundsystem, trance and techno music, movement, dance, substances, the decoration, the lights, the setting, generating spaces that induce and allow for these states.
• References to check: Silvia Rief *(2009): Liminoid atmosphere and state of otherness; Link with everyday life structures; Bodies out of control; Body as a non fixed category; Dematerialization of bodies in the early rave culture; Processes of subjectivation and social practices, in society and club culture

• The problematic of the Rave also as a market, professional or semi professional bodies performing to see and be seen through MIMETIC PRACTICES (dressing up, dancing together)

• Notes to self: But regardless of it being also reflective of market structures, the Rave is still and also a site for the reclaiming of spaces by and for marginalized bodies; From my experience it allows for the becoming of a non sexualized female body for instance, or a body which if it is sexualized is because I chose it to be so and not by default. How to consider club spaces as connected to feminist practices, researching by doing. How to reclaim sexuality also for woman in the club and not have dark rooms only for men? My experience is that to dance intensely and whole heartedly generates respect and tension more than a sexualized attention. Technosomatics is a technique which allowed me to access this technology within my body, rendering my dance also more androgynous and at times maybe even masculine or aggressive. Therefore again the party and the rave as a place for the fdluidity of gender, just like in Dyonisian rites.
• Check: Maria Pini "Club Cultures and Female Subjectivity"; https://www.palgrave.com/br/book/9780333946060

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Please Scroll Downwards for the content of each section

AFTER

Q: What content you enjoyed the most?

The endocrine system as drawn in my notes. Double click on Image for PDF with more notes.

NOTES:

• There are quite some similarities between clown and BDSM when it comes to considerations of holding and claiming space to be seen or heard as well as in relations of power exchange between clowns (the happy clown and the sad clown, the trickster clown, the proposing clown).
• Clown is not about failing but about being conscious of failure and using that as a tool to generate empathy from the audience - a good trick to use with the rollerblades and when falling and crashing through space.
• Being clownish implies letting go of shame and self judgement, again a connection to BDSM. One has to embrace and embody vulnerability while making that the strenght of the play.
• The facilitator was great as she threw us directly in the water of doing and being a clown while giving very strong feedback.
• I felt like leaving my comfort bubble and suddenly being surrounded by middle aged retired german ladies with a willingness to explore themselves and be humbled by being silly, a great gift

International Notice | Richard Aslan, Louise Trueheart and Chris Gylee

 31 October - 27 November 2018

Sophiensaele and District Berlin

  TECHNOSOMATICS | by Frédéric Gies

   19 - 25 August 2018

   Ponderosa

LOVE IS IN THE AIR | Matthieu Ehrlacher and Alexandra Osowiscz

19 September 2018

Forum Dança

NOTES:

• Second season of International Notice. Similarly to my last semester, I took part in sessions with INT Notice where we watched General Probes of pieces and wrote critically about and through  them.
• About INTERNATIONAL NOTICE – Performance Triangulation Station – is an artist-led project generating a constantly evolving archive of original, high quality critical writing in response to performance on the Berlin Free Scene http://internationalnotice.org/info
• This process helped me unblock my writing practice for my Graduation Piece and also have a perspective by forcing me to watch shows by other artits with a critical and humble eye as a way of getting out of my own head and creative dramas.
• It was very important to share techniques for dealing with creative blocks such as taking breaks, streams of consciousnness, thinking conceptually and also trying to write not only about but also with and for the show/the artist in question.

CLOWN Menu 1 | Sirka Remes

19 - 21 October 2018

ETI Schauspielschule Berlin

NOTES:

• A tool to access the tehcnology of the body and its pathways into altered states of consciensce through the  beat of techno and the activation of the endocrine gland system.
• " It is a practice that consists of a collective and individual exploration of the endocrine glands and chakras through club dancing to techno music as wells as the opposite: an exploration of club dancing while embodying the endocrine glands and the chackras." in http://fredericgies.com/?page_id=549 
• A practice, a ritual, a training, a portal. What I have been doing without knowing and what I can do even more with this added knowledge and awareness.
• Example: I dance by activating the adrenal glands, this is why I can keep going for hours without end in the club without speed or other substances. 
• Different bodies in space dance together with eyes closed in the darkness and they find and sense each other. 
• It is a choreographic tool which unfolds by itself without markings and cues, how to translate this state of knowing bodies will fall into place into the work?

NOTES:

• One of the exercises consisted in being in a group of 3. Each person stated a wish and the other two had to make it come true performatively. This seemed to me as a very interesting way of generating material for a piece and working through desire, activating desire and sharing the revelation and emergence of this desire.
• My desire: To integrate this exercise in the rehearsal process for the future work.
• Another exercise was to embody a character or a person one would like to be, to impersonate somoene and carry them in our body, gestures, movements and traits, how can this also be included and combined with the idea of the speculative other, of my process of inhabiting different aspects and new aspects of ourselves when on stage?

FEMALE EMPOWERMENT | Caritia

21 - 23 September 2018

Chiro House Berlin

NOTES:

• BDSM workshop focused on domination from a female perspective. The notes regarding this workshop will be comprised of the answers I gave to the workshop facilitator both before and after it took place.
• This workshop was of utmost importance for me to solidify and trust in my role as artistic director, choreographer and composer of a solo within solos. It gave me the insight to consider ways of taking space as well as holding space for others.
• This translated into me inviting the performers to consider their work within the Graduation Piece also as their own solo, framed and insitgated by my solo. It also allowed me to strenghten my presence and assume my role as host within the piece and in my practice.

Frei[T]RAUME | All eyes on Club Culture

9 - 11 November 2018

Musikbrauerei Berlin

NOTES:

• Conference on Club Culture and it's challenges: "The main focus is recognizing troubles and difficulties of cities Worldwide to accommodate and offer cultural nightlife that engages and moves social groups. Frei(T)räume offers critical reflections and Intimate discussions of current situations, defining the forefronts of urban movements around the globe. " For more: http://freitraeume.com/about/
• This was a conference and a workshop where ideas on rave culture were spoken of and debated. I went as part of the mina/rabbit hole collective, dedicated to queer rave culture in Lisbon: http://www.minasuspension.com/
• The conference  included talks by club and rave organizers from both oppressed and gentrified countries as was the case of Bassiani (Georgia) who have been forefronting a revolution through club culture, Palestine and the case fo Lisbon which on a different front deals with increasing oppression enacted by gentrification and tourism. 
• I will procede to focus my notes on the opening pannel, given by Chiara Baldini, member of the Boom Festival in Portugal, who dedicated her talk to reclaiming a feminist and holistic perspective into the notion of altered states of conscioussness and its political implications for society through the party and the Rave. This talk further inspired me to think about the character of Lilith and the witch within the piece.

INPUT 1. WORKSHOPS

Lecken

7 December

Untertage Berlin

Birthday Party + 

Marum DJ set

24 November

Arkaoda + Schwutz Berlin

Frei(T)räume Rave

10 November

Berlin

Underwater Love

1 December

T2 Berlin

Smile You're Evicted

Tanzprekariat Neukoln

3 November

Agora Berlin

Out Fest

Linn da Quebrada

DJ Lycox

6 October 

Barreiro

Mina Suspension

26 October 

Maze Berlin

As a fundamental part of my experiential research, I commited to going to techno clubs and raves as much as possible and to consider them as grounds for observation of social relations, the setting of the environments and developing or learning about the dramaturgical and choreographic tools present in these spaces and environments. Alongisde, I also set myself the challenge of experimenting with my body and altered states of conscioussness induced either by the practice of technosomatics and other exploratory technologies of the body or by the consumption of psychoactive substances. I recorded thoughts, experiences, visions, fears and insights generated in these spaces and will proceed to document them chronologically.

Lecken

31 August 2018

Untertage

Celeste Mariposa

15 September 

MusicBox Lisbon

DJ Set by Marum

18 August 2018

Ponderosa

Berghain

30 September 

Berlin

NOTES:

• The set is the setting. There was a tent in the middle of the dancefloor where you could play and hide: this gives a completely different possibility of enagagement with the music and the dance. Props work and so does the possibility of being seen and unseen (the principle of the worms in my previous work).
• There was a performance halfway through the party which raised the energy to the top, the performance consisted of doing cake sitting to sexy music. This led the audience to extreme states of admiration, surprise, excitement, which then translated into the rest of the party.
• Dramatugy: Surprise, be wild, do something unexpected to liberate the wishes of liberation from the audience as well.
• How to incorporate the feeling of "Oh My Gosh I cannot believe this is happening live!" into the piece through dance and choreography? - My answer was the Edith Piaf "Je ne regrette rien" moment. But in the future I would like to have even more of these moments.

NOTES:

• I would not consider this party a rave. There was a certain kind of feeling missing. It felt more like the after party of a cinema festival than a rave done by ravers who spent a day in a conference speaking about raves. 
• I assume this is because it was stitched together with and by people who did not know each other beforehand. 
• This is why it is important and has always been for me to build perfotrmances, shows or parties together with a group who trusts and knows each other or has a chance to get to know each other through the process, because this energy of love and friendship transpires and is felt through to the audience.
• This has made me even more assured of my instinctive working process of inviting into my work people I know I am or can become friends with.
• Such was the case with all the performers invoved as well as André Uerba (lights) who I did not know too well but became a very good friend through the process. Pedro Marum (DJ) has been my friend since 2011, Katrine S. Larsen (the stone) began to work with me in March 2018 and we developed a strong friendship, she came to Lisbon to work with me in September and Carrie McIlwain (the dinossaur who also built the pinatas and the cardboard city) began working with me in May 2018 and also came to Portugal in October to keep the connection. Judith Förster also became a friend since we began to work in April 2018 for my 201 presentation and the same is said for Lara Anais Martinez who also was part of my 301 presentation. Vilja M. I was curious about her difference within the group which worked beautifully and Clay Dresser came into the work out of their own desire, having spoken to Lara and then asking me if they could join. Federica Flux (sound and video) I met during technosomatics in Ponderosa and through the work we managed to keep in touch after the workshop which we highly appreciated.

NOTES:

• I brought some of my props from my SODA 301 showing into the dancefloor. 
• It is amazing how people managed to put a rubber teddy bear into a balloon out of their own accord. 
• Benoit Lachambre showed up at 3 AM and din't stop dancing until dawn, bringing a new set of energy to some of the already tired bodies in the space. 
• I became a worm py stuffing myself into a sleeping bag. It felt good to dance with my face hidden and to be able to roll over the floor. I remembered that one of the starting points for the wormhole was my wish to dance all over the dirty floor of Schwutz in one of marum's Dj sets in late 2018. 
• We made a rave in the kitchen. It was the perfect scenario to get acquainted with all the people populating Ponderosa without having to talk to them. 
• The set makes the setting: the lights and the decor led to the sillyness, my altar of toys was activated by the audience who was activated by the DJ who was activated by the audience. It is a loop, it is a party, it is a rave.
• rave¹ /reɪv/ verb
  1. talk incoherently, as if one were delirious or mad.

NOTES:

• I brought some of my props from my SODA 301 showing into the dancefloor. 
• It is amazing how people managed to put a rubber teddy bear into a balloon out of their own accord. 
• Benoit Lachambre showed up at 3 AM and didn't stop dancing until dawn, bringing a new set of energy to some of the already tired bodies in the space. 
• I became a worm py stuffing myself into a sleeping bag. It felt good to dance with my face hidden and to be able to roll over the floor. I remembered that one of the starting points for the wormhole was my wish to dance all over the dirty floor of Schwutz in one of marum's Dj sets in late 2018. 
• We made a rave in the kitchen. It was the perfect scenario to get acquainted with all the people populating Ponderosa without having to talk to them. 
• The set makes the setting: the lights and the decor led to the sillyness, my altar of toys was activated by the audience who was activated by the DJ who was activated by the audience. It is a loop, it is a party, it is a rave.
• rave¹ /reɪv/ verb
  1. talk incoherently, as if one were delirious or mad.

NOTES:

• A night dedicated to South African music, " Township Jive, Mbaqanga, Maskandi, Tsonga Disco, Shangaan Electro, AfroHouse etc... From the 60’s until today!" as seen on the event description.
• Dance is revealed to me as the release of excess energy in a shared and collective manner which allows for a temporary suspension of gender, class, judgement and goal oriented desire.
• I am confronted with beats which are not techno based for the first time in a long while. My system is confused, my body does not know how to respond at first.
• I am reminded that techno has its roots in these beats as well, from Disco to Detroit to the world.
• As I focus on my body I am able to apply technosomatics principles and to activate my system first through the gonads and then spread the energy all around. I am sober and I end up dancing around the whole club like a jumping bouncing ball. 
• I partake in the circles danced by black men, I am taken in but not harrassed. I realize the power and the respect that dancing intensely generates, reducing the potential for sexual objectification of my body which is integrated into a practice of dancing together rather than dancing with or for any kind of copulatory purposes.

NOTES:

• The beggining of a new cycle. I will leave to Portugal the next day to begin the process for the new version of The Wormhole.
• This night and rave is a ritual for the opening of space for the unknown that is to come. I am nervous and anxious but the lights, the music and the movement inspire me to keep going. DRAMATURGY: The piece has to start with dancing to techno as a way of energizing and setting the tone for it to unfold.
• I meet Fréderic as soon as I enter the club and we fill our conversations with the energy of Libra which is supposed to be doing something at a certain point in the sky or with the moon, I cannot remember exactly and I cannot find it online either but it was there amongst us.
• I had said I'd go home at midnight and as I step out of the club and look at my watch it is exactly 00:00. Let the new cycle begin.

NOTES:

• The rediscovering of the effect of dancing to music sung in Portuguese, o r music with lyrics to which one can relate and sing along to. The importance of lyrics/music/singing to music should also be in the piece somehow. It showed up in the worm song and the choreography to Rien De rien.
• Again it is interesting to discover Afro Beats and their mixture with techno. During DJ Lycox's set the group of guys from the neighborhood started to dance in a circle and would invite people in. I was startled because I thought they were filming and taking pictures of the people who went in but they were using the flash of their smartphones to shine light and give strenght to the dance of the person in the middle. An interesting new urban/tehnological phenomena I had not seen previously. The wish to incorporate it led to the finding of the fingerlights the performers used in the beggining of the piece. 

NOTES:

First event bringing the party/queer rave I co-organize in Lisbon to Berlin. Considerations on the ways sociabilities and bridges are built in between worlds: friends from Lisbon came to play here and the vibe of friendship was felt through the night, rendering a softness to the event. 

The soundtrack that remained with me from this event was tainted by the song displayed on the right, it is important to have extreme/intense/funny songs in the dramaturgy of a party, songs that can stick with the audience and act as reminders of the event: Work with this!

The team from the Berlin based Lecken party was also there, and we started to dream up the joint New Year's Eve party to come. 

I was the door person/host of the party for 5 hours, experimenting on the performance of welcoming the audience in.

I could not dance until 6AM, when the music became more intense and I managed to activate my body through technosomatics. 

Debris was left, 3 toilets were broken but the club owners did not want us to stop: at 8AM (the time we were supposed to end) they urged us on to play until 9AM, and I quote them: "This is techno!! You cannot stop, keep going!!"

NOTES:

• I realize once again my intense connection of love and friendship to (Pedro) marum's dj sets. It is as if I become ignited also through this energy which becomes itself a technology to activate the body. I am happy he will be part of the piece and that we have held on to a 7 year relationship through work and play being, the founding members of Rabbit Hole.
• This night was also a pact between me and Diego to jump into the water after we spoke about the myth of the Odyssey and how Lilith grabbed the sailor who jumped. This paved the way for the story told in the piece in Castellano, as a tribute to this night (more on this in referneces section)
• I had my best friend Tiago visiting, who also shared videos by strong Spanish women with me that further made this decision be strenghtened (more in references section)
• The difference between the queer environment of Schwutz and the Arkaoda bday party was clear. In the latter the vibe was all about maintaining a certain appearance and hiding all the mating vibes going around while in Schwutz there was the total assumption of these in between dark rooms and the dancefloor. Queer worlds are like post modernism in art, we know it's all falling apart we all know people want to fuck around and have a good time as much as possible and we ride it and have fun with chaos as we despair through it while the more heteronormative environment seems stuck in a modernist and romantic narrative/attitude of metaphor and don't ask don't tell.
• I ended the night feeling as if my pulse was held by music, dying and being reborn to the sounds of the album by Alva Noto posted here. It was an intense emotional journey activated by a disappointment of my desire which did not find its expression and flowed into these sounds of life and death, further fuelling my wishes of intensity and the theme of queer friendships and kinships in the piece. What kept me together were my friends and my work.

NOTES:

• A house party professionally built. People came dressed up with an underwater theme and the decoration was unbelievable. The set is the setting: This generated a dramaturgy of constant surprise and curiosity.
• Costumes and masks perform a rite of transformed identity, allowing for different behavior and ways of being/doing. I took the squid costume from which Judith the costume dsigner took the model to make Lara's costume for the piece and then shifted skins and dived into the witch wig that I found at the party and that also made its way into the show. 
• This confirmed my practice of working with ideas, props and situations which show themselves to me and which I decide to take as valid and useful for the piece as they appear. I do not decide that I want a wig, the wig makes its way to me. 
• Again a party to spend time with friends and nurture the muscle of not being alone, because we are all in this together. Note: The party took place in Bernardo (SODA 1's appartment) and Judith and André Uerba were also there :)

NOTES:

•  I was part of the performance choreographed by Maria Scaroni and inspired in Paulo Preciado's contra sexual manifetso alongside Mati K. Sorensen's text relating the Dildo to the critique of the nation state. We read these texts in the Lecken bookclub and debated the ways in which the dildo can liberate but also oppress those such as trans people who may wish to attain an actual male sexual organ, for instance. Is it a substitute or a reinforcement of the status quo, reifying the dick as a site for pleasure? How to resignify the whole body as Preciado mentions and activate it into a technosexual tool of sensation?
• In the performance the way to address these issues was to spread dilldos through the body but to not use them as such, leaving the touch and the gaze to the skin surrounding them.
• The performance was a choreography of many bodies in a small space, a rehearsed and improvised score working similarly to what I call Gonzo Performance (just do it!)  and in this case steered by principles of:

1. Urgency. The audience was removed from the dancefloor and asked to let space for the moving of podests where the performance took place.
2. Physical interpretations of childhood/toddlers climbing to the podests
3. Bauhaus: Clear lines in the body
4. Art Deco: Stylized and more voguey postures
5. Family picture, element of surprise where we all looked at the audience, froze, and smiled
6. Labor, we jerk and rub against each others skin
7. Aftercare: we lick our wounds and retreat into ourselves
8. Scream, punishment: we hit each others tongues and start a cry that blasts sinto techno music for the party to start again (similar idea behind that of the BAD FRIEND in my graduation piece, a careful and sweet punishment of a dear friend with whom one has shared a lot)

NOTES:

• There were a lot of people who had met at Ponderosa in the space and this generated a very interesting home like vibe. Specific audiences generate specific moods.
• It was interesting to try technosomatics on the dancefloor of a club for the first time: I can  now dance with my eyes closed without fear of bumping into people or hurting them - bodies organize themselves organically.
• I had the task of being runner, meaning running between the party and the entrance to relieve the host/door person from their duties if they had to have a break. I felt like a doorkeeper, managing the inflow and outflow of people, wlecoming them in and sending them off. I enjoyed the role of being a host and started to further entertain this idea for my role in the upcoming piece.

INPUT 2. PARTIES & RAVES

Ultra Pulp

31 August

Bertrand Mandico

Hito Steyerl

30 August

e-flux

Movimento

08 - 14 September

Barril do Alva

CONCLAVE

12 - 14 October 

Rua das Gaivotas 6

Scum Manifesto

13 November

Mediathek

Immanence

18 November

Lecken Book Club

Amazing Videos in Castellano

01 December

Youtube

Ballet ZOOM

Januray 24th

Youtube

Speculative Other Workshop

4 August

Gropius Bau

Diego Agulló

8 August

Meeting

Tanznacht

26 & 27 August

Uferstudios

(Re)Union

14 - 19 September

Lisbon

Willow's Nest

27 October 

Berlin

Ryan Trecartin

4 November 

Porsche Scopes

Meeting Lara

03 September

Neuköln

La Grande Belleza

1 August

Film

I have registered here some of the references that were important for this work and my practice as well as feedback received by friends and mentors througout the process.

WEBSITE

July 2018

Cargo Collective

https://mariananobrev.cargocollective.com/

NOTES:

• Following my 301 Research Presentation I decided to create ,my own website as a way of reviewing all the work done up until now and grounding myself in it. In this sense it becomes a reference for future work.
• In this way I was able to remember and recollect my tendencies towards engaging both by myself and during my collective working phases with Rabbit Hole with a mixed media approach to art making as well as the desire to make many different things happen at once onstage.
• I also realized the tendency towards doing site or situation specific works such as was the case of the Pós Antropoxeno and Terrário Installations done in 2015 with Rabbit Hole (click for video links)
• The aesthetics vary between camp, trash and post dramatic or even post modern theatre (pieces without fixed text which may even use the classics as a starting point such as Crime & Punishment which starts off from the Title of Dostoyevski's novel and goes on an improvised tangent.)
• I would like to invite even more people for the next project (person for lights and sound as well as more performers).
• I also realized the jump done from my 101 showing up to 301, going from a very shy performance attitude to a more upfront one. The group I worked with also grew as I developed more trust and confidence both in myself and the work as well as the people surrounding me in Berlin. 

 Notes:

•  Movimento is a collaborative cinema project led by friends of mine where they get together for a week to shoot, act in and edit films in a cllaborative manner. Most of the videos done in movimento can be seen here: https://vimeo.com/gatoaleatorio
• This year it took place in my grandparents house and I participated together with Katrine Staub Larsen (more on this in the output section)
• As I watched the films my friends did in the first session of the project which happened in July 2018 II realized how slow and made up of still planes portuguese cinema can have a tendency to be. This tends to be very boring but I believe it can be played with by deciding upon unexpected things to enter the still frames, something which can be transposed to the theatre as well, if we regard the audeince's eyes as the camera and the stage as the frame into which people, objects and actions enter.

 Notes:

• While preparing for the Lecken Party Bookclub session where we read a text connecting the Dildo as seen by Paulo Preciado with the War machine present in Deleuze and Guatarri's discourse (A thousand Plateaus) I stumbled again and more deeply into the concept of Immanence and related it greatly to my work and process. I paste here some quotes from the text "Gilles Deleuze: A Philosophy of Immanence" by Fredrika Spindler and explain further:
• "Chaos is perpetually present, is a continuing origin, where nothing has yet taken form neither as thought nor nature, and that in the same way threatens to dissolve once again all that is formulated and wrought into form.
• “Chaos is not an inert or stationary state, nor is it a chance mixture. Chaos chaotizes and undoes every consistency in the infinite. It is from this background, and still continually immersed in this chaos that thought begins precisely by the instituting of the plane of imanence that, in Deleuze’s words, constitutes a section of chaos, a sieve retaining or rather selecting a certain number of chaotic determinations, but at the same time requires them to be retained as absolute movement."
• I relate my prectice of Gonzo Perofrmance to this, as a way of instituting a decision making process from chaos, as a way of knowing without knowing yet trusting that once the action and the performance is taking place one understands and goes with it without necessary precognition. It is a way of selecting elements and actions from chaos, instead of thinking through the chaos before acting. Once one has a frame for events, they can unravel because they have a set which becomes the setting for their appearance. 
• There is no transcendant meaning a priori, there is a set of chaotic possibilities which are continuously present yet have to be selected and slip through a decision in order to emerge. It is all happening at once but as we decide we set an order, it is not random but it is also not the (only) "correct" one, it could have been another and it would also be the right one, and it is not ot say that it is about "whatever", it is about what is in this moment. 

 Notes:

• One of my best friends came to visit from his rehearsal process in Madrid with the artist Angélica Lidell., an amazing woman in her perofrmativity and discourse, an inspiration.
• He shared with me videos from very interesting Spanish woman that inspired me to write the Lilith text in Castellano  as a way of embodying their presence
• I also remembered the videos from Argentinian artist Pedro Capusoto, in the character of Violenica Ribas which Bernardo Chatillon had showed me for my 201 presentation and which also inspired that working process. I leave here those videos for reference.

 NOTES:

• After my 301 showing the feedback rested on two main issues: Framing my solo within the frame of a collaborative work with other performers and setting a dramaturgy lying between chaos and cosmos.
• How to separate myself and really define my solo work within the work? 
• How to activate a performance that contains the feeling of everything at once but that goes through different waves and scenes where there can be clear focuses?
• Ideao of playing with the party elements such as the lights and sound and finding ways of disconnecting them while making them be not just a support but also a strong element of the piece.

In Free Fall: A Thought Experiment on Vertical Perspective (click for full text).

Notes & Quotes:

• My question aftrer reading the text, based on the quotes transcribed below: How can stage based work to the same, generating not only one focal point and a linear perspective/dramaturgy to what happens onstage but reflect the multiplicity of things going on at once instead of the abstraction of linearity? 

• "The use of the horizon to calculate position gave seafarers a sense of orientation, thus also enabling colonialism and the spread of a capitalist global market, but also became an important tool for the construction of the optical paradigms that came to define modernity, the most important paradigm being that of so-called linear perspective."

• "(...) the construction of linear perspective declares the view of a one-eyed and immobile spectator as a norm—and this view is itself assumed to be natural, scientific, and objective. Thus, linear perspective is based on an abstraction, and does not correspond to any subjective perception.3 Instead, it computes a mathematical, flattened, infinite, continuous, and homogenous space, and declares it to be reality. As the whole paradigm converges in one of the viewer’s eyes, the viewer becomes central to the worldview established by it."

 Notes:

• CONCLAVE was a 3 day festival organized by the Rabbit Hole collective, following us being offered a residency at Espaço Do Tempo (Portugal) and the possibility of showing our work in Rua das Gaivotas 6. At this point the collective was so dispersed that I suggest we all make a proposal of our own work with the promise that we help each other throughout the residencies and showings. In the sequence of this I wrote a funding application which we were granted and that boosted the project. More on Rabbit Hole: www.rabbithole.pt
• This was my first attempt to solidify my idea of not falling into the trap of having to do everything collectively as a way to keep operating within a form of collectivity.
• I was inspired by the work of all my friends, 8 projects were shown in total and I saw myself in all of them. We used the whole space of Rua das Gaivotas and beautifully fit into each others work, giving each other strenght and autonomy.
• I was able to make the first version of my graduation piece (more on this in the coming output section) and a choreographer and good friend of mine suggested I watch again Beetle Juice (the movie) since he related my work to it a lot. I did, and he was right and it did influence some further choices in the piece (black and white colors for example). This friend also suggested I should use rollerblades during my act, which I did.

 Notes:

• Sound performance by Federica Fluxx working with sound and performance.
• I met Federica in ponderosa over the summer and after watching her performance deicded to invite her into the work as a sound designer.
• I was interested in her conceptual approach to sound and the way she interacts with performative settings and objects as well as in the fact that she is doing an MA program in Sound Studies at UDK so offered her to explore her practice and interests through this work.
• She is also a video designer and those skills would also be interesting to incorporate, and ended up being reflected on her VJ session for the party in the piece.

 Notes:

• The campyness of videos like this make me want to  keep making work, to keep making dance
• I realize how much this absurdity drives me to make work, how much I aim to be able to translate this feeling from videos to the stage: How to operate with the cuts and nonsense of the overlaying and overlapping of images live?
• How to enact the feeling of zapping through trahsy TV channels by the making of a staged piece?
• In the party this can be enabled by the mixes of people, movements an dsituations that occur all at once. But is it possible to further develop this through a frontal viewpoint? 
• Graduation Piece was an attempt, I look forward for more to come!

 NOTES:

• I proposed a workshop based on the idea of the speculative other for the Open Spaces curated by Isabell Lewis in the Gropius Bau Welt Ohne Aussen exhibition program
• Event Description: 

  "𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗹𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀? 𝗚𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁? 𝗜 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘀𝗼, 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘀𝗼. In this one hour collective research proposal we will be invited to move and speculate about becoming other possible selves, bodies and entities which may lead us into playful exit strategies out of humanity. Researching into our speculative others does not necessarily mean the dissolving of the self, but considering it in a lighter manner—as, precisely, a fiction. Starting from here this could also mean the possibility of producing other fictions of the self (or other fictions of non-self), and with that the exploration of other ways of being in the world."

• I proposed a 1 hour session where we began with a warm up exercise of going back in time with our bodies in an improvised manner (exercise taken from mari Scaroni's classes).
• Then we proceeded to draw the creatures and environments visited during that journey
• After this I put some props at the disposal of the participants such as toys, the worm costume and fabrics and they were invited to keep exploring these beings found in their journeys together with the use of the materials
• It was a successful endeavor that led me to realize that when left to themselves with small proposals and incentives people were able to have fun with their bodies and imaginations, projecting themelves into other ways of being.
• Katrine who aprticipated in my 201 and 301 processes mentioned she felt like being Michael Jackshon or a pop star rather than a creature, so how could this proposal develop into us speculating of being other human beings/characters as well?

 NOTES:

I watched 3 pieces: Songs For Love and Rage curated by Silke Bake and Claire Vivianne Sobottke; Antonia Baehr komponiert für / mit Johnny Chang & Neo Hülcker & Lucie Vítková - «Röhrentier» and  You said youd give it to me soon as you were free by Julie Reinartz.

1. Songs for Love and rage was a very interesting event to see how studio 14 can be set and played with through the set design. It also resonated with my wishes of generating a performance/show where different things and scenes are set up at once and done by different artists/performers. 
2. Antonia Baehr's piece was the most fun show I watched in the last years, giving me tears of joy and beauty for the minimal simplicity of the work and all the humor behind it. It also made me realize that I love this minimality but am very unable to replicate or produce it in my own work.
3. Julie Reinartz piece was very criptic to me, an example of the type of work I cannot relate to since it seems to have a secret hidden behind it which is not revealed, a certain idea of art as an indecipherable and confusing thing.

 Notes:

• Film suggested by a friend for my work
• I am interested in the surreal aspects, ambients and costumes it proposes together with pop culture and b-series movies references
• It reminds me of "The Legend of Kasper Hauser" in a way, another reference of mine.
• Again, film allows for the shwoing and giving of many different places spaces and realities at once, so how to generate this feeling through a staged work?

 Notes:

• A sort of debrief from 301. Lara was a Rabbit in the piece and would like to keep working with me for 401
• She showed me her dramaturgy for what she did as a Rabbit and I was amazed at the level of care and detail she put into the work
• It reinforced my will to give the performers as much agency as possible for the coming process.
• I proposed to Lara that since she mentioned the need to turn her knowledge from the HZT BA into practice and because of her experience in dance and Phyiscal Theatre she could lead the warm up sessions for the coming process.

 Notes:

• (Re)Union is a performance festival to which I contribute both with my work as well as in the production team. It gathers alumni students from the PEPCC (Contemporary Dance Research Program) from Forum Dança of which I was a student in 2016-2017 before entering SODA. For full program click here.
• I contributed for it this year with the wormhole installation together with Katrine Staub Larsen (more on this in the coming output section) and was abel to see some solos and works of colleagues.
• The space available to show work was Rua das Gaivotas6 to which I am well acquainted but with very poor technical conditions. As a result most of the works shown there reflected the inadequacy of the space, further making me think about the importance of adaptation and working site and/or situation specifically.

 Notes:

• The tone of the scum manifesto inspired me to be more daring in my text and its delivery
• The way Valerie Solanas uses language and the humor put into the delivery of such intense content is very curious since it allows us to believe she may be mad (specially considering her attempt ot murder Andy Warhol) but also to wonder wether it is just a way of dleivering her message in a very unapologetic manner.
• She speaks also about other forms of sociability and loving, and I stumbled upon her while researching on queer and feminist kinship structures.
• I transcribe some of the quotes that stuck with me and relate to my own work and writings:
• "Love can't flourish in a society based upon money and meaningless work: it requires complete economic as well as personal freedom, leisure time and the opportunity to engage in intensely absorbing, emotionally satisfying activities which, when shared with those you respect, lead to deep friendship."

• "There is yet another reason for the male to isolate himself: every man is an island. Trapped inside himself, emotionally isolated, unable to relate, the male has a horror of civilization, people, cities, situations requiring an ability to understand and relate to people. So like a scared rabbit, he scurries off, dragging Daddy's little asshole with him to the wilderness, suburbs, or, in the case of the hippy -- he's way out, Man! -- all the way out to the cow pasture where he can fuck and breed undisturbed and mess around with his beads and flute."

• "A true community consists of individuals -- not mere species members, not couples -- respecting each others individuality and privacy, at the same time interacting with each other mentally and emotionally -- free spirits in free relation to each other -- and co-operating with each other to achieve common ends."

 NOTES:

• Film suggested by Silke Bake in a tutorial following my 301 presentation.
• An inspiration for the way it portrays the party scene. It inspired me to further wish to decompose the party and replicate its potentials for twistedness inside a piece, knowing I set myself in my proposal the challenge of having the party as a starting point.
• It speaks directly to the way parties can contribute to fill up boredom and existential questions and how they can also throw us back into them when the party is over. This is why I enjoy working at parties, rendering the wrold in which they occur as a way of further filling up this existential gap and fuelling it with a sense of purpose: The purpose of creating the conditions for us to let go into oblivion and touch moments of ego loss through collective dancing.

 Notes:

• A very strange culturla event sponsored by Porsche (the car brand), sounding like cultural washing.
• However there was a Ryan Trecartin exhibition curated by the Julia Stoschek collecion which reminded me of how much his videos are an inspiration since they reflect madness in the most über real of fashinons.
• I am interested in the way his characters rant their madness away and aim to use this more in my work, having used parts of this madness in the text I wrote and the way it was staged (see for example the moment where Vilja/Marilyn is lip synching to my text and when I also join her in the process)

INPUT 3. REFERENCES & FEEDBACK

For the Full Program click here: 

https://ruadasgaivotas6.pt/conclave/

4. Graduation Piece

15 October - 15 December

Uferstudios

3. CONCLAVE

1 - 14 October

Rua das Gaivotas 6

1. Movimento

08 - 14 September

Barril do Alva

2. (Re)Union

14 - 15 September

Rua das Gaivotas 6

In this section I have gathered my rehearsal process alongside other projects that contributed to my final 401 work, namely the wormhole videos shot during Movimento, the performance and video installation done at the (Re)Union Festival, the Wormhole Showcase performerd at CONCLAVE.

 NOTES:

 23.10 - First rehearsal where I asked everyone for their wishes. We made two groups of 3 people. One person in each group had to state their wish and the others had 15 minutes to make it come true:

• Vilja - To impersonate somoene. Kat and Lara knew Vilja was going to dress up as Marilyn for Halloween and so created a scene for her to sing in as Marilyn. From here came her costume and her impersonation of me, followed by the worm song and the set up of the bed where she did it in.
• Lara wanted to dance for an hour, and so Judith and Clay took almost an hour to set up all the toys in the room. From here came Clay's role to be the toys setter from the begginning of the piece on. Clay had also felt like a swamp in the warm up exercise of going back in time done before, hence their swamp costume.
• Judith wanted to have an oracle read and Lara and Clay set up a table with the head and were having the weirdest conversation. From here came the table and head scene in the piece.
• Carrie kept the same wish and so the city and the pinãta were repeated scenes in the work, with Lara doing the city's set up as a dance. Carrie also suggested to see the space being punished to the "Bondage" song, a scene which remained as the ending for the piece.
• Katrine's wish was to be outside and so she became the stone, an element from the outside within. 
• I was reading a text called "The Plastisphere" and learned about the term of the Plastiglomerate, a mixture of rock and plastic, which adhered quite well to her costume
• Katrine had also shared with me the story of Lilith, and so I researched and incorporated it in the work, together with Diego's reference of Lilith showing up in the Oddyssey.

• An amazing moment of collective dancing. 
• Pedro fell asleep and didnt make it to DJ live but I used a pre recorded set of his to make up for it
• We tried the finger lights and it workd magically.
• The ravers loved the experience and are happy to be in the piece. They will come to more rehearsals later on.

 NOTES:

• Wormhole Installation done in the context of the Forum Dança Alumni Festival, together with Katrine Staub Larsen. I proposed to do a wormhole installation since I knew the space had limited technical conditions for a piece to be performed
• This was again a practice of adapting the work ot the situation and the context. With the wormhole installation we were able to use all of the in between spaces of the theatre: instead of the black box, we wormed through the foyer, the bathrooms and the exhibition space. 
• This was a liminal performance, happening in between the other shows that took place in the black box, and we were able to set the tone and welcome the guests as well as announce the upcoming pieces.
• It turned out to look and feel like a twisted children's birthday party, which gave me the concept and idea for my next work to be performed in October (more on that next).
• It was again a Gonzo Performance setting since we got into our costumes and improvised through the space and the people.
• The children present loved this work and played with us non stop, giving me the idea of setting up a children's work in the future. 
• Evening Progrma details: 

  INSTALLATION / DURATIONAL PERFORMANCE
   A wormhole can be visualized as a tunnel with two ends, each at separate points in spacetime. It could connect extremely long distances such as a billion light years or more, short distances such as a few meters, different universes, or different points in time. (in wikipedia)

  This wormhole is an ongoing project bringing together a mixture of videos, plastic toys and a worm who navigates through space and time spreading bits and pieces of a broken performance. It began with an intestine inhabited by pinworms and developed into a practice of parasitizing the interstices of performative locations and gatherings where the worm invites itself into, echoing traces of that good old song: “I'm a worm... I'm a weirdo...”

 NOTES:

• This time I was able to invite Carrie McIlwain, who also worked with me for my 301 presentation, to come to Lisbon to work and perform at CONCLAVE. We applied to an international travel grant and were awarded it, which contributed financially for the endeavor.
• I set myslef the challenge of creating a new piece for this platform, rather than repeating my 301 show since I realized the work had to be situation specific and adapted to the context of Lisbon and working again with the Rabbit Hole collective, so it would not make any sense to do a research presentation again.
• For this work I asked most performers what were their dreams and wishes to do onstagefollowing the workshop done in September with Mathieu Ehralcher and Alexandra Osowicz.
• Carrie said she would like to create something and destroy it live. From here came the idea to build a cardboard city and a Piñata, both of which she built herself with the help of Rabbit Hole members. As soon as I found a dinossaur costume I bought it for her and so our T-Rex Godzilla came to life!
• My wish was  to write a new text for this event and to stage it as a host/ghost, my character being that of a clownish Queen of Cups, a Tarot Card that I got for the piece in the process. I was inspired by the Female Empowerment Workshop I did in Berlin as well as by my talk with Diego about making my Solo role clear in the work.
• The diffraction glasses were a suggestion from Carrie following a suggestion by André Uerba (light designer) to make the audience's view be distorted.
• I was able to set up this work in 10 days, in between helping the other Rabbit Hole members to set up their shows since we performed 8 projects in one weekend
• This project gave me the guts to come back to Berlin with the set up for my Graduation piece, where I decided to ask the performers working with me their wishes and to use those as materials for the scenes that would fill up studio 14. My role would be to write a text and deliver it on rollers skates. This way we could generate a group of solos to be performed in one work, supporting and caring for each other along the way. If it was possible in Lisbon it could be possible in Berlin.
• Being situation specific, the text was written in English and Portuguese, and I framed the celebratory moment as if it were Rabbit Hole's birthday party since the theme of the CONCLAVE project was a way for the members of the collective to get back together.
• I invited Rabbit Hole and friends to be in the work, the worm being an ex colleague of mine whom I did not have money to pay but offered her help in her application to the EXERCE masters in Montepellier, to which she has gotten asccepted
• Her wish was to rant against the Brazillian future president since this was the weekend of elections, and her wish was granted.
• The wish of the DJ and sound designer (Violeta, a dear friend of mine) was to cry on stage and so by the end of the piece she stops the party and complains about the hangovers.
• The squid and the Zebra worked as the rabbits in 301, setting the stage and the toys for the rest to unravel
• The ravers in the initial scene are non prefessional dancers that co organize the Mina Raves with me and Pedro Marum.
• Although I know the Rabbit Hole team for 7 years now, I am happy and gald that most of the people I will work with in berlin have been doing so since the previous semester, since this builds a field of trust from which to begin.

 NOTES:

• Collaborative cinema project led by Gato Aleatório, a collective of friends of mine. This year it took place in Barril do Alva, my grandparents house. 
• I proposed to Katrine Staub Larsen with whom I had previously collaborated to join me and challenged her to experiment with my Gonzo Performance practice, which implied setting up quick scenarios to shoot short films inside a worm costume with the aid of the other movimento participants. 
• The aim was to use these settings to rehearse for the upcoming Wormhole Installation to be done in Lisbon, as well as gathering video material to also include in that installation.
• In this way we refrained from needing a studio to rehearse in and instead did it situation and site specifically, rehearsing in the open and in the countryside with the materials, people and conditions at hand.
• At first this seemed a bit daunting to her but we quickly tuned in to the process and had a lot of fun improvising and gathering meterial. 
• We alternated in directing the videos and proposing ideas and places to film at.
• Again this was my strategy of doing a solo together, with me setting the frame and then allowing for her own desires and creativity to emerge and be explored.

OUTPUT 1. REHEARSALS & OTHER WORKS

Here I will share some last conclusions coupled with dreams of my future work and research. SODA has been a journey for my work, performativity, desires and friendships to unravel and become part of my personal and professional life in a concrete manner and I look forward for what is still yet to come.

1. On Rave and Club Culture

2. On Desire and Collaboration

3. On Solo and Authorship

4. On Theory and some last lingering thoughts

 NOTES:

• I wish to keep composing my work through desire, listening to the wishes of the collaborators I work with and finding ways of making them come true.
• I also wish to keep researching into BDSM practices and the way they frame power exchange as a manner of better understanding and containing my role as a choreographer and/or artistic director working with groups of people.
• My desire is to be able to set up workshops whenever I travel with a piece, in order to find local performers and local themes to address. I have learned of this possibility through André Uerba who ueses this for his own work..
• I also aim to research on the club and rave cultures of countries and cities I travel to as a way of further expanding and sharing my insights and practices.

 NOTES:

• Through the research for my essay I have found outstanding literature on Rave and its culture
• Unfortunately this did not make it all into my essay since I decided to focus more on experiential rather than theoretical inputs
• However I am interested in bringing some of these insights on the issues of rave's function as a contemporary form of community and ritual as well as its considerations into queerness and opening the possibility to experiment with different modes of doing and being in the world.
• If " in rave lies the potential for re-figurations of the here and now, the possibilities for creating alternative fictions or narratives of being, and the opportunities for the development of new (albeit temporary, incomplete and constituted partly in fantasy) “identities” (Maria Pini), how can this potential be activated? 
• I am interested in further understanding the ecstasy sought after by ravers and engage with it to find its political and social dimensions for gathering communities where we may party as well as consider the layers unto which the party can overflow. For instance: If more ravers come to the theater and more theatre goers end up raving, what could this translate into? I ask this since I have realized that there can be stigma and prejudices from both sides towards each other, and if working on thsese fringes can generate discussion on these matters in both fronts could that be of use for both communities?
• I also intend to investigate further on the theoretical and theatrical aspects surrounding the rituality of Rave and its social function as a place to level energies and contemporary dismays, a place for joint ecstasy, rendering it possible for the standing outside of oneself and potentially recognizing others and the others within oneself through different lenses. I would like to this without falling into the trap of new age spiritualism neither the dismaying persepctive of raves and parties functioning as a manner of regulating and maintaining capitalist structures by offering people sites for the releaving of their frustrations rendered by structural faults in contemporary society.
• For me this potential lies in the making and the process, both of artistic work as well as the organization and production of events that allow for Rave. From here I hope I may enact this sense of community, generate further discourse and the spread of thoughts and ideas that may trickle down to its final goals: be those artworks or raves or, even better(?), artworks that evoke states of raves and raves that can be experienced as artworks. I hope through this research I will not blur these boundaries, but be able to work with and through both their commonalities and differences. 
• I am both eager for and daunted by this Graduation, but hope that above all curiousity may be the main driving force for what is to come.

 NOTES:

• I have been organizing parties and performances in parties since 2011 with the Rabbit Hole collective. This work has many times brought me doubts of what the hell am I doing with my life, setting up the conditions for people to consume entoxicating substances and lose themselves in
• However I am now able to understand that these are liminal spaces in which to opearate and to choreograph through music, dance and the setting of an environment which may contain better conditions for people to perform these activities.
• People will not stop consuming substances and losing themselves, so if we can devise more queer friendly spaces with sturdy awareness teams and the right ingredients for us and them to improvise with these intense experiences, we are being of service to us and them.
• I am interested in bridging the world of the rave and the theatre, not to blur their differences but to work through them.
• I wish to propose to develop my work in relation to specific contexts that may wish to contain a party such as theatre/dance/performance  festivals, doing for example either the opening or closing pieces and parties, or celebrating specific dates and themes, working situation and site specifically.
• I also wish to keep performing at parties, bringing my work into the rave as well as the rave into other spaces, not to make them alike but to learn from their differences and adapting the work to each context.
• This has already started to happen during the New Year's eve party Fully Automated Luxury of Oblivion where together with Maria Scaroni and the Lecken and Mina teams we curated, decorated and held the space for the new year to arrive. I was able to be part of two performances, one of which I did in a worm costume as well as have the role of Host and Bouncer in the entrance to the event. I am also as of now part of the official door/host teams of both Lecken and Mina. This is also a performance, which I am very interested to keep developing.
• Full event here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1917654948302634/
• Excerpt from the Event text: 

Our idols are dead and our enemies have settled into power. 

In 2018 all that was (half)solid became hyperreal. 

Are we still dreaming...

We live on borrowed time
coddled in bubbles of affinity, substances of forgetting,
communities of auto-immunity,
sort of like cruel optimism, but more coordinated and electric.
Harder days are coming.

The question is less where we get our energies from
now that we’ve occupied the energy plants,
but what to do with all that surplus electricity.
How do the voiceless practice dissent?
How do the hopeless live out their darkness?

• I also used leftovers of my Graduation Piece i n this event, taking the pinata and some of the props into the party as a ritual of letting go and setting forth the new possibilities of the year to come.
• This event was the result of investement in queer kinships and friendships, through the blending of two queer rave parties from Berlin (Lecken) and Lisbon (Mina), both dedicated to queer ethics and the joining of music, rave and performance. This was for me a way of stepping into the future by establishing further bridges between these diverse worlds of mine, finding further motivation to keep going with my research.

 NOTES:

• I have come to see myself as an artist who enjoys people, to work with people and with the unexpected elements they bring into my work.
• As of that my role as an author is to set the environment and the conditions to find the right people for each piece and to allow them to unfold and unravel through it. 
• For instance I am cooking up two ideas for the future at the moment:

1. To make a piece that takes place in the backstage of a theatre and a party. The audience enters and finds themselves there in this chaos where loose conversations and actions take place, where everyhting is half dirty and only half making sense. What actions and scenes can happen here? The DJ will be playing in the next room, through which the audience will leave the backstage and join the party.
2. A series of performances called #MYFRIENDS where I invite one artist friend at a time to develop a work with me. We meet for an hour and then I write a quick funding application for it and try to find funding and residencies for them. I would like to have one annual funding to make 4 of these works and will begin now in 2019 by inviting to the process Maria Scaroni, André Uerba, João Robalo (Rabbit Hole) and Bernardo Chatillon.

OUTPUT 2.

THE FUTURE