4. Living Here With You In This Flat Right Now





07:28 300420 / 07:51 160221

chundering boiler longs to give up

wooden bed frame creaking through fucking

brash cartoons resonating and rattling down the hall

boys’ racers tearing up the street for an audience of no-one

LJ on Zoom work call – cold gated pro voices

low rumblings of neighbors living through the walls

computer fan hum – deep, warm

repeat kettle eruptions

murmuring radio haunting kitchen

small boys rolling around – benign screaming

T H E  T O P  T E N  R O C K  S O N G S  O F  A L L  T I M E

prone quiet caregiving phone calls to friends

foreboding silence of the snow outside

invasive doorbell – package arrival (“is this B/2”?)

bath runs full again – nurturing heat / futility portal

all together



06:17 030420

the pressures acting upon and within this place are intensified by lockdown

the kids are driving me up the wall

the inverse of social distancing is social compression

home becomes hyper-relational implosion

while the quiet streets outside fill with birdsong

and an apocalyptic politics morphs and grows somewhere far away right here under my nose


06:34 040420

this small home-office is place as ex-closure

a place for closing out

the relentlessly present social world

in favor of privacy, solitary work, desire, anxiety, action


07:10 120520

“anyooone? anyoooone?” 

“I’m anyone”


07:24 161120

deep listening alone and with each of the boys

brief quiet time with LJ as morning coffee floods the brain

soundwalking the home to co-compose the soundscape, attending to balance, breathing, posture, noise, resistance, energy that won’t be contained any longer, needs that manifest as taut silences

improvising as caring, responsiveness, ethical action and critical intervention

performance and play

bamboozling each other with nonsense

making space for each other to be on our own

hugging and wrestling – pursuing intensity

tactics of timing, of feeling for, sensing and guiding form

dropping a sustained pitch into the scene

layering moments, events, packets of experience, endings and beginnings

feeling the music in the flat

trying to hear the flat as music


09:29 250420


another agentic voice in the room


care giver

surveillance tech

Audio track 4: cooking