Listening
When I play,
 I am listening for pitch and rhythm.
 I am listening for motives that travel across the instruments.
 I am listening for what's not there,
 where the empty spaces are.
 I am listening for texture and dynamics.
When I play,
 my listening is both very selective,
 and it is very inconsistent.
 Disloyal.
It can be highly self-centred too.
When I play,
 my awareness is more loyal to the collective than my listening.
 I think I am more aware of the others than I am actually listening to them.
 But when I listen back to a recording of a piece,
 it sounds indeed like I am listening to them.
Does that make sense?