I don’t feel as if I am ready. Maybe we shouldn’t push it […] It is hard knowing where to start […]
(T)here is a sense of us wrestling with the practice of … practicing. (T)here is a set of (recurring) struggles and obstacles, whether we are aware of them or not […] (This) is (the) point where (we) are trying to work something out; something through.
(T)here is a point to the work other than itself and its own making. It is more about how to get to the point. Whatever the point is […] but the point changes. It is impossible to be exact.
There are questions that (will) come out of the context. (W)e should put (on) too much pressure. (We) might not … exhaust the possibilities.
(T)he question is how do you repeat without repeating (?) (T)here is a repeating structure, but […] how do you have change within that structure …
(T)he gestures can’t be repeated. (T)hey are insistent, but the way that they insist is … necessarily different each time.
(T)hey are … getting at something. (T)he difference is in the intention, (in) what they are intimating towards. (T)he gesture(s) (are) the same, but the intention … changes. (Meaning) rests in what (remains) latent, (in) what is not said.
(T)esting (out a) way of speaking; the index is the speaking finger.
(W)e are in the territory (between) what we have already done (and) the possibility of what … might be. It is really a very fragile line, a fine line.
I am not sure where (it) happens. I don’t think it has happened yet. (I)t may well have already happened but we can’t (yet) see it..
Speculation is dynamic, hesitation is movement, knowledge is on the move.
(G)roping … for something (;) (but) never get(ting) towards the thing … that you are groping for. (T)here is something about not being quite sure.
Maybe it is the difference between waiting for something to happen and making something happen (;) […] (I)t rests on the relationship between th(e)se two modes.
(W)e are preparing for something to happen, we are getting ready for it to happen. (T)he preparation composes what will happen and shapes it. (But things) change depending on the context. The nature of the invitation is key.
(T)here is an internal logic … a number of rules […] (We) are talking about such slight gestures. You need something to spring from.
(I)t needs to be as exact as possible. (T)here is so much when you get in there. (B)ut the closer you get, you don’t necessarily […] get any more […](T)here are a lot of full stops. […]
(D)istraction … comes in sideways and shape(s) things in way(s) that you couldn’t … anticipate … (I)t is …. trying to keep very focused but nonetheless … attention wanders. (O)ther things will always come in.
(I)t is a bid for feeling knowledge, felt knowledge, […] it is the tip of a feeling […], the felt tip. (T)his also being a place for a certain kind of knowledge.
(H)esitancy (is) on the move … in the ink and the friction on the paper (and) all this being movement (and) somehow important in ways that I can’t quite articulate right now.
(L)anguage is … feeling its way … there is a blindness, a grasping or a groping towards language … the fragility of language (and its) impossibility.
There is a different register of activity happening … tilt(ing), the point where, […] thinking is happening in a slightly different way to how (it was) before.
(It) create(s) a focus, …a kind of pressure point, and … just to the edge of that … is the delicate part of what I am doing. […] It is around the edges of what we are saying, rather than the thing that we are saying.
(T)here is something to do with the way that the gesture deviates from its plan […] Neither is that a failing of the method. (T)here is an orchestration to it … that is necessary.
(I)t is very definite but it is … unclear to what end … (its) purpose is accidentally found.
I am trying to get to the point; I am pointedly trying to get to the point […] a performance of getting to the point, that’s the point. That and that.
(I)t is a continual process; thinking … is always (a) draft.
(S)omething (is said) between the words, which is very different to what is (actually) being said. (A) small aside, a fragment.
Or you could keep going back to it and working (it) through, framing it differently.
(I)t gathers meaning and loses meaning all the time […] the origin of things is … often forgotten […] (yet) (i)t (remains) latent and … is always there.
(T)hey seem as though they are suddenly activated or required to do something. (T)hen it lapses […](W)hat is the mode of hesitation there.
(T)he purposefulness of th(e) gesture is often in response to … do(ing) something […] it looks decisive … I don’t know what I am deciding to do but it is a decision.
(B)reath and circumstance (are) the place(s) where the real contingency … happens. (T)here is the contingency within the process of making and contingency within the process of performance, and they are … different.
(T)here are strands … running parallel to one another and I don’t think this is to say that they are touching all the time. (C)oming together and then departing.
I have to place … trust in the contingency of the making, because that is the place where a different kind of vocabulary emerges.
(These) are not my words (;) (they) belong to the work.
I am not trying to be ambiguous. This is not what I am doing. Something is being done; it is happening. And I am conscious about that.
The way you stumble into language is an accident … People stumble over their words. […] Things trip off (the) tongue […] How can it be anything else?
(T)he closeness of the felt, the felt tip, the texture of the felt tip […] and that being enough.
(I)t being the thing that needed to be said.
(I)t needs to be seen as an endeavor […] there is something being activated and something being neutralized all the time … There is a real reciprocity between the two.
The gesture of groping is an intervention […] (words) get groped by th(e) hand. There is a friction there. (But the) groping is (un)sure of itself … it doesn’t have an end in sight. At times, the reaching out is purposeful, but is doesn’t quite know what it is going to get.
(T)here is something that couldn’t be anticipated […] purpose is accidentally found (;) (it) reveal(s) itself in the work.
(T)he purpose we bring to it is not at all … the thing that the work ends up being […] the work itself has its own … trajectory of purpose. (I)t swerves.
The work (exists) somewhere between the force that we are asserting … and its willfulness, its own points of resistance, a material resistance, a material history […] It doesn’t produce synthesis easily.
(Between) our purpose (and) the resistance of the work […] (T)he gesture has infinite purpose …. It could be anything and nothing.
(W)hat (does) it … mean to prepare for the unexpected … for that which could not have been anticipated in advance (?)
(P)reparedness is not to do with preparing for all eventualities but […] being open to the unexpected. (I)t is being prepared … to respond when the time is right … teasing a way forward, letting something (in).
(L)etting go allows it to become something that is different to what you have been preparing. (T)here is a point where you (have to) leave off.
(W)hen you are not looking directly at something it will come. […] So the words come (and) slower, in their own time.
(That) which is given is a gift. To give … is to yield. (It is) both a gesture forward and …(of) surrender. Pushing. Pressing. Flex.
It is about the promise of a sentence […] the possibility of the sentence is one of a sentence. (T)here is a contractual bind in the first word. (Yet) these things aren’t stable either (;) a sentence structure can be circumstantial.
It is only at the end … that … the promise of the beginning is fulfilled. (Y)ou start out not knowing what you are doing (;) it retroactively has structure, it retroactively is.
The hesitation … is both … scripted and actual. So, we (are) performing a certain hesitation. (S)ome of it is part of the score. (T)he grammar of hesitation … is … what we are looking at.
(T)here is the sense of … purpose, the question of purpose in the work. Being … purposeful but to what ends (?) […] There are forms of purpose that are deliberate … forms … that emerge.
(S)omething done … has the capacity to be undone […] backwards (and) forwards. There is change of plan and there is planned change. T)he term unplanned is often synonymous with the accidental.
(T)here is a line. And it is about pushing that line by degrees, over or under.
There is something to do with the trembling. There is a narrative of feeling (that) seem(s) to resist forming words.
Where is the action of the work, what is its tense? Why I have forgotten?
There is something about (this) that feel(s) more material. (W)e (are) talking about reduction and paring something down.
I can’t describe the difference between that and this. I won’t probably until later. They might have meant something at the time. They can relate too much.
I am conscious of giving you too much. You have to spend time away from it.
Maybe we leave this in the air and come back to it. I think that is an interesting place to start.