This research has been an adventurous, challenging, and enjoyable one, full of surprising and fulfilling encounters. Perhaps like any research, it is not simply my own. I developed works and practices alongside encounters with people from various fields and contexts. My thoughts, artworks, and practices seem to always be part of a collective endeavour. Over the years, I had the privilege of belonging to several artistic and intellectual communities that were essential to my ongoing quest for words and ways to articulate ideas and practices, writing and acting. I have been very fortunate to have encountered people who supplied my research process with their body stories and historicities, real and fictional experiences, knowledge and references. Some meetings were ephemeral or personal, often not spectacular but always rich, insightful, and intense. Many of them remain collaborators and friends. I extend my appreciation to all of those who helped and supported me throughout this research.
I am more than grateful to Stockholms Konstnärliga Högskola (Stockholm University of the Arts) for allowing me to accomplish this doctoral research and for supporting me during these last years. I would like to extend my thanks to Jenny Tyllström, Sissel Behring, Olof Halldin, Lin-Christin Berentzen, Bodil Lagerås, Elisabeth Möller, Helle Zimmerman, Kay Artle, and Paula Crabtree, among others. Thanks to Camilla Damkjaer for accompanying me on the early stages of my research.
Thank you, Cecilia Roos, for your gentle presence and support throughout this research.
I also want to thank the Department of Dance at the SKH for nourishing, accompanying, and hosting my research projects during the past years. Thanks to Kristine Slettevold, Chrysa Parkinson, Jennifer Lacey, Martin Sonderkamp, Frank Bock, Josefine Wilkström, Zoë Poluch, Anna Grip, Lena Hammergren, Ingela Stefaniak, and all the BA and MA students with whom I shared and practised the research in progress.
Thanks to all the professors at the SKH – especially Ellen Roed, Rebecca Hilton, John-Paul Zaccarini, Juliette Mapp, and Johanna Garpe – for insightful discussions and essential feedback.
I would also like to extend my thanks to all my fellow PhD colleagues. It has been inspiring to cross your research and share with you what artistic research can be and do. I want to thank Malin Arnell, Eleanor Bauer, Nils Claesson, Marius Dybwad Brandrud, Mia Engberg, Mette Ingvartsen, Alex Nowitz, Kerstin Perski, Jonathan Priest, Carina Reich, Paz Rojo, Stacey Sacks, and Bogdan Szyber, with whom I have discussed works since the beginning of the doctoral studies.
My deepest thank you, Marie Fahlin for your friendship and intelligence. Thank you for helping me to keep going throughout these years. It has been beautiful and fulfilling to share this adventure with you.
I’m grateful to the opponents and examinators who accepted being part of my seminars: Paula Caspão, Piet Devos, Daniela Finzi, John-Paul Zaccarini, and Adrian Heathfield. I want to thank Noémie Solomon, Robert Sholl, Victoria Pérez Royo, Paula Caspão, and John-Paul Zaccarini who have accepted to be part of the examination committee of my doctoral thesis. I appreciate their time and generosity in entering my body of work.
I am immensely grateful to my supervisors André Lepecki and Sandra Noeth, who followed my research and gave me support, trust, and attention throughout all these years. Thank you for all our conversations and supervision sessions in which you reminded me of the potential of what I do. These meetings and talks will resonate with me for many more years to come. I am forever thankful to have shared and developed this research with you.
I also want to thank all the institutions and venues that trusted me and invited me to present different phases of this research, which allowed me to share the work with different publics. Thanks to Sigrid Gareis, Krassimira Kruschkova, Kolja Burgschuld, Michael Stollhofer, Anne Faucheret, Arne Forke, Bojana Kunst, Eleonora Fabião, Joanna Leśnierowska, Anne Cécile Sibué-Birkeland, Stina Dahlström,Tove Dahlblom, Claudia Bosse, Mette Edvardsen, Kerstin Schroth, Adriano Wilfred Jensen, and Simon Asencio. I also want to express my gratitude to Bettina Kogler, Christa Spatt (Tanzquartier Wien), and especially Karl Regensburger (ImPulsTanz) for presenting my artworks on several occasions, even in their most experimental forms.
A big thank you, Anna Efraimsson, for your support and trust, and for giving me the unique opportunity to present the latest stage of my doctoral research at MDT.
I’m grateful for all the supportive and crucial conversations with my friends and colleagues, who gave me the force and courage to continue. Many thanks to Fouad Asfour, Gabriele Brandstetter, Valentina Desideri, Annie Dorsen, Mette Edvardsen, Alix Eynaudi, Jassem Hindi, Anna Koch, Lise Lendais, Pontus Pettersson, and Alina Popa.
Thanks to my dear friend Alice Chauchat for always being there, for intimately and intensively thinking with me, and for helping me out so many times.
I also want to deeply thank my close artistic collaborators, who contributed tremendously to the research and with whom I developed several artistic projects: Nancy Banfi, Céline Bernard, Varinia Canto Vila, Eleonora Ciani, Emese Csornay, Christophe Demarthe, Anne Faucheret, Samuel Feldhandler, Marcus Fisch, Philipp Gehmacher, Frédéric Gies, Krõõt Juurak, Paul Kotal, Vladimir Miller, Caterina Mora, Bruno Pocheron, Charlotte Ruth, Linda Samaraweerová, Elizabeth Ward, Alexander Yannilos.
I want to thank Camille Chanel and Kathrin Delhougne for assisting me and for documenting both works in progress and public presentations. Thank you, Johanna Thorell, for your support, intelligence, and tremendous help at the crucial moment of bringing my PhD to an end.
I am incredibly grateful to the audiences, participants, and students who participated in my different choreographic proposals, workshops and artistic experiments as well as the patients and somatic practitioners who contributed to the research by sharing bodily knowledge, anecdotes, and thoughts.
I want to thank my family for their help and patience. Thank you to my mother and father, for giving me support and sharing their interest in psychoanalysis. I am forever grateful to Roland Rauschmeier, who remained the most significant support during these intense and challenging years. Thank you for carrying this research with me all along, for your insights and time, and for constantly reminding me that this PhD is "avant tout" an artistic one.
There are not enough words to express my gratitude to Theo and Carl. It is an honour to be part of your life as your mother. Thank you for your patience and strength during all these years. Studies on Fantasmical Anatomies grew alongside you. I dedicate this research to you.