There are these garbage containers right in front of my house. You cannot believe what people are throwing away! When thinking about radical tenderness, I was thinking about the ignorance of consumption and (un)significance of things. Peopel just use the stuff and when they don't like it anymore, when it doesn't fit anymore they throw it away and buy something new. How about actually taking care of things? Instead of blindly using them. This garbage containers represent the waste of our society for me. How could a more consciousness and sutaanble society look like? Maybe, with a more tender reationship to the things we “use“, those bad smelling and giant conatiners wouldn't greet me and my neighbours every morning. (Lu)
UM DIÀLOGO ENTRE DESCONHECIDOS - a dialogue between strangers
An invitation to dialogue with strangers in an elevator, connecting six floors, from which two are medical centres. How can you connect with strangers? To start a converstaion with them, establish a proximity wihtout ever seeing each other...
Note: The invitation/dialogue was taken down in less then 5 hours..
There is a palm tree at the entrance of my house. Nobody seems to take care of it. A few month ago, I started to water it. I'm living above a public centre, where a lot of people go in and out every day. The people come here in order to take care of themselves, but nobody seems to take care of the space. I built an ashtray and installed the two quetsions of “What is your relatinship with the space?“ and “What is your relatinship with yourself?“ at the entrance.
How can I relate to people, I really don't agree with because of their attitudes, values or opinions? Or who are disrespectful to others, like “gunas“ (portuguese word for gangster) on the street who catcall me? Does radical tenderness mean, giving those people another chance as well? Do I want this? How to actually be tender to people, I don't feel connected to at all? How can the difference of our values and opinions, not be in the way of connecting wth each other? (Cata)
I decided to put my tender snetence in the glas front at the entrance of my school, because I feel that most of the others are very desmotivated. In school that started to talk a lot about the sentence at the entrance and wondered who its was. I never told them, that it was me :)
When putting the sentence on the wooden barrier, I didn't know that I have been watched. When I left, a man came out of his shop to have a look at what I was doing there. When I turned around, he looked at me irritiated, smiling. In the evening I went back to the park in order to see, if the paper is still there. I couldn't see it because a young youple was sitting on that bench, kissing. Did they chose that bench because of the uetsion that I've left?
For me, tenderness or radical tenderness is a shock in this society. People don't expect you to be tender, especially us young adults. So often, people judge and talk bad abut each other. Instead of seeing behind what they want to see/expect to see. Because behind this surfaces, we are more equal than people think. Tenderness for me is a revolution, because it breaks with the norm. Its a celebration of who we are, its a party! And I like partys! (Rafa)
Everybody wants to get better by buying new shoes, new brands, new clothes, etc. It's always about better looking, better doing, better, higher, faster, etc. It never stops. Be tender to oneself or to anotehr person disarms capitalism in a way, that it stops os from craving new things. Instead it fulfils us, with our company. (Catarina)
Do you know, that a person needs eight hugs per day? So, I started to give hugs to everybody. When I first started with it in school, people got a bit scared think, or confused. BUt I actually think they really liked it, but couldnt show it that well. Now, they are really happy when I hug them, they enjoy it! (Bee)
A topic I'm dealing with a lot at the moment, is fragility. Accepting my own fragility. That is why I also wanted to be part of the group. It's not easy to accept yourself and its not easy to show fragility and vulnerability in this society. I was supposed to travel with friends to berlin right now, but I realized in the last minute, that I'm actually not comfortable with the idea, so I stayed here in Porto. I just know this group for a couple of hours, but it feels like you already know me better than the friends I was supposed to go with to berlin. Because here, I feel that I can show my fragility and be myself . (Rita)
Do you realize that people don't say hi outside, on the street? Most of them, they don't even look at you. Because of radical tenderness, I started to say hi to random people and it's fun! It makes people smile. I also put an envelope at a wall close to my house with sentences inside it like “have a good day“ or “even if there is no sunshine today, your face might shine“, but nobody took a sentence out of it.. (Ana)