This solo I always felt was a musical rendering of the same “story” as in the preceding choreography, a bit like an aria in a classical opera, stylized, expressive and emotional. My experience of playing the solo has always been strongly characterized by the role in the play. I am still in costume, and just got up from the floor, and I am struggling to control my emotions. The grief that characterizes this moment, I would always bring with me into the playing. Even though the framework is defined by the orchestral score, I perceive it more like a scenario, created by the orchestra. Here, I am allowed to approach my instrument with the full life experience of a woman in grief, and in it, I found myself playing sighing gestures that to me were reminiscent of crying. I had never played such figures before, and they still are strongly connected to this particular scene, in my mind. The strummed interruptions, I always thought of as moments when she is waking up from her sadness and is trying to convince herself to take action and seek revenge.
While there is a fundamental sense of freedom in this solo, Richard's intentions and instructions could also be very precise and aimed at very particular notes and gestures. An example of this can be seen in video V3.4, in which Richard discusses the arrival note in the strums that introduce the next part after my solo, a trio cadenza.