P41

thought, scared , psychotic episodes , prayer , rehab , butterflies , metaphors , ex-addict , suffered , feelings , allegories , hero , poetry , relation , complete , universe , control , enlightened

I like all this, but I ‘m a bit scared because I suffered from psychotic syndrome. Now I ‘m fine, I can talk about it, I like it but I ‘m scared to go too deep. It’s a shame, because, I like reading fantasy books as well. 

I know that some people cannot comprehend poetry and metaphors, but that was not the case with me. What I was doing while in psychosis was to correlate and to associate, for example putting off a cigarette would mean the end of the world, things like that. I was looking for signs everywhere. I was relating my own feelings to the butterflies in the city, I thought my feelings were in line with the universe, and the universe was reaching out to me.

Superman is a complete super-hero. He is such an integrated character, an absolutely complete one. He could do much more than he did. He is charismatic, coming from another planet, another world, he was lost in his powers, he could not control them as a minor. I really like his story.

I am an ex-addict. When I went to rehab, I had the first psychotic episodes. I thought the rehab was the house of God, that God was talking to me. I was creating endless scenarios, I was taking in all I would watch in the news and everything I would hear or see on TV and thinking that it was all about me. That I was something like a Messiah. So, my first mission was to educate the psychiatrists. I thought I was the chosen one to show them the enlightened way. I remember everything. I was a hero. I had created and had become my own hero. Everything I would listen on the news, was about my own being. Yes, everything on the TV was about me and I would translate everything in relation to myself, like allegories. I miss it sometimes but there was no control. To believe in yourself is something important. For me a prayer is my device to become a superhero. Usually, I repeat very short prayers in the morning, in the evening or when I feel scared. 

Device: Prayer, sword

Transition: violent

Interface: comic strip