Keywords: glass, images, photographing, Cheshire cat, transforming, love, tarot card, memory, beamed, rabbit hole, Star Trek, roots, mother, ghosts, threshold, deepest parts, starship Enterprise

Device: sonic, small stone that fits in hand

Transition: vibration

Interface: illustrated, dark-light

(interview language: English)


I have to say that a little detail in the graphics of these cards reminds me of a friend that I will never see again. This detail looks like tattoo I did for her on my back. It’s her energy. I will not see her again and I cannot see my back either. They also look like tarot cards. I see their burst of energy in the bottom of each one of them -just much more organized.

Okay, I did see Superman, and I passed over it because maybe I'm not so interested. I think I'm more interested in the graphics here. And in the center, like a sun or something that's emitting. Now I'm looking at these images for the first time leaving the frame aside. Images that are super familiar to me like the Superman, colors of America, New York, the Chrysler Building. He's passing through the glass. He's transforming from businessman to Superman. Both of those characters are basically the same to me. Just the one doesn't have glasses, I guess. I'm more interested in the surroundings than the image of Superman himself. There's something happening where he's about to slam into the glass out of a window, as if a threshold is no longer a threshold. At first, I didn’t even perceive it as a phone booth, just a glass. I’m obviously not watching Superman or anything, but this is a moment he is transforming behind a glass. Do people see him transform?  I thought the whole thing about transformation is that it is not visible, just happens suddenly. And it's in a telephone booth anyway, that moment of transformation. For me it’s the pane of glass. Clark Kent is moving towards me in the first pane and he's symbolizing a beginning to be something else and then he passes through the glass, surpassed somehow in an unbelievable way because it would have broken with his body weight. But then on the other side of that invisible threshold of glass, is Superman.

I love Alice, I love this image so much. I love the checkered floor and the combination of the checkered floor and the roots below the tree. I love the nonsense of the teapot filling itself and things falling to the ground but eventually they keep floating and not actually falling at all. She's levitating and she looks at herself in the mirror and it' s upside down so all the roots are growing downwards and upwards at the same time. The roots are the branches. The Cheshire Cat in their background is watching, keeping the tone of being funny. This story is a very important one for me because my mother made a series of paintings where she really made Alice in Wonderland, but the main character is her cat. My mom’s images look really like this one but they're a bit darker. They all have checkered floors in them or some kind of checker pattern. And it's still my favorite pattern. It makes me feel very nostalgic for home.

It reminds me of play. My mother still does it. She’s still playful and her imagination is so strong that oftentimes it's to her detriment as an adult, in relation to other adults. Often people think that she's crazy. She makes up these incredible truths in her head, built by information of the real world that produce enormous fictions and then she has overwhelming anxiety and fear about them. She's depressed and has anxiety. And all of that becomes present and true for her. But I always I mean, I think that's just because she has an intense, imaginative capacity and this is also the way that my sister and I connect to each other. I visited my sister for two weeks and it's this, verbal world making, you know, this hypothetical speculative world making. It's always funny. It always has humor in it, and that's the Cheshire Cat; no matter how scary it is, or how weird it is, or how terrifying and how much it defies any sense of logic of gravity or needs or wants or fears. There's always Cheshire Cat there that makes the situation a little bit absurd. And that's always quite nice because it reminds me of my mother. This hollow also has a vaginal opening. You know, it's the inside of this room of origin.

I know that she fell down a rabbit hole. And that's so funny because actually seeing this I would say that she fell down a tree hole, but I know that she fell down the rabbit hole because of the Jefferson Airplane song. So yeah. She fell down a rabbit hole. And she goes through sort of a series of hallucinations. She's big in a small house. She's small in a big house. She has tea with the Mad Hatter. She meets some kind of King. There's a ticking clock. I have images of it that are cobbled together but really chunky images of it.

This is a pop culture classic that I can gather information about only through contact with other people. I don't have a direct relationship, I never watched it. Is this Star Trek? Star ship Enterprise. It wasn't part of my life. I didn't watch TV at that time. But I understand that this is Star ship Enterprise because of my general applied western pop knowledge. I understand through the understanding of sci fi is that they're being transported, or people do come and visit them? Are they holograms? They're all being beamed in or beamed out as holographs, and they can have conversations and gesture to each other and get angry and leave in a puff of smoke and do their thing. I've seen this much of the old Star Trek, just to remember what it looked like. They were often crawling through what are very obviously sets with all these rocks and all of this dust on an otherwise clean set but what plays a role for me is that it's made on film. And because I work in photography, I think that these kinds of tricks of the eye are so sexy on film, they really work. You can really fade something out and then fade something in again. Yeah, I mean, I take two shots and then make them sort of vaguely half one another. And that is what works. Like the trick of the camera when photographing ghosts. There’s like an old American trope of photographing people with ghosts behind them.[1] If the person behind them would only stay for one second of the four-second exposure, it would appear as ghost. And then such photographs would be sold as the proof of spirits. And often people would hire a photographer to take a photograph of them because they were convinced there was presence of a spirit that only a camera could capture. And then that spirit would be made conjured produced photographically or otherwise, but maybe that doesn't matter.

I would like to have maybe a small object like a stone that fits my palm, and no one sees and can be entirely enclosed in my body. Through that I would be beamed or transformed. But I can also think of getting into a trance through dancing or singing or chanting.  Chanting is a meditative and transformational technique. A sonic device. A vibrational element, Frequencies that come from and reach to the deepest parts of the body. I do not want to have rules if I am to be transformed. The only rule would be the intention.

You know, I really thought that you were going to ask me about being in love. And I was thinking I'm the best person because I just fall in love all the time with so many things. I'm really talking about love in the most extensive way possible, but I was wondering if you really want to know about my relationship. Love. I mean, of course it's love. I love my girlfriend. But I really feel I identify more comfortably with that “in-love” state, not “in-love-with” someone. I'm crazy in love with all type of things. It's not it's always about people.


[1] A practice known as spirit photography dates back to the late 19th century; for some evidential and for others fraudulent, it nevertheless inspired investigation and dives into spiritualism (Doyle, 2019, 41-58).