freestyle research of old way vogue with the idea of an altar in mind. also with the intention of going with what comes. letting the unconcious movement lead me forward.

The topic of irish identiy is something ive always put on the back burner. something I can explore with later in life. well, it is now later in life. moving away from ireland has made reflect a lot on my experiece in the country. I am not Irish by blood so now that my home isnt connected to the country what actually makes me Irish?  

My initial reseach lead me down a path about my disconnection with the country and the culture. what isolated me? what stopped me from diving into a culture that is my culture but made me believe that it wasnt mine?

In these other two videos I improvise with the heaviness of the the rocks in mind. To do this without rocks was so facinating, I felt like I was directing weight from my imagination and past recognistion from my head down my arms to my hands where the fantom rocks lie.

My first instinct of where to start research on this topic was Irish dancing.   When I watch the style, I have so many questions. How did it go from   being such a free-flowing social dance to a strict competition with very little leeway for artistic expression? What were the social and political reasons for this? And again, any research lead back to either the church or the colonization from England. 

So, from this one question kept getting looped back in my mind. Why the straight arms down by the sides? 

 There are 3 theories for this:

·        Aesthetic reasons. Dance teachers in the 18^th century just liked how the stiffness looked on the body.

·        An act of rebellion in the court of Queen Elizabeth 1. These dancers were brought to the court with no choice so as an act of rebellion they didn’t raise their arms. 

·        The church forced young people to dance with heavy stones in their hands to stop any inappropriate contact to happen.

This information is from this website if you want to read further: https://ryanandodonnell.com/why-do-irish-dancers-keeptheir-arms-at-their-sides/

I came to the conclusion that the routine of the priest at mass has a very similar tacktic to presenting yourself at a ball. There are a key group of elements that you must show and do in order for it to meet the mark. In a lot of ways mass is very similar to getting your 10s. And as i went deeper i found that priests and altar boys follow tutorials to learn the altar routines and it is a choreography in itself.

Here is an example:   https://youtu.be/6ewayG2mCJ0

The movement research i did with the quality of weighted weightlessness was very hit or miss because i didnt have my rocks. I wanted to get my rocks from a very special place. So in that time period of not having the rocks i imagined that i had them so in someways i was faking the quality.

after exstensive research on myself and diving into my past and my schooling experience my first movement research started to appear. deriving from catholic rituals in everyday life which were normalized like morning, lunch and evening pray, weekly mass, the school uniforms etc. 

some questions i had where:

what are the similarities between mass and a ball? 

walking down the isle of a church and walking the floor at a ball, how where they connected? 

is the feeling of walking in blindly but knowingly a common ground?

The rocks couldn't be any old rocks. They had to be from my home. In the beginning of October i went back home for a residency at Dance Limerick. I thought that having my own space for a week to work at my own pace would be good for me. When i got home the first thing i did was driving up to The Flaggy Shore in The Burren to get my rocks. I've been going to this place since i was a baby. So many memories and experieces happened along these shores and mountains. It felt right to get my stones from there. i picked out two small/medium sized rocks and from this point everything in my process changed. 

My research started with going back it time. When did ireland become so effected by Catholosisim? And also going back into my history and my experience with being a non catholic is a rural catholic society.

I think the faith is beautiful in a lot of aspects. How the pagan celtic rituals got intertwinded is one that i am always so in awe about. Like holy wells for example. Also, the love the irish catholics have for mother mary, a woman. Big huge shines built into cliffs and on mounds to show their appretiation for their lady. When did the beauty become toxic and nationalist expression?

So, from these questions i decuded that the religion itself was not the issue, it was the way it was intergrated into every aspect of every day and how rural ireland was so influenced by it.

 After the colonization by britain a new type of extreme nationalism was born. Ireland became a Catholic state,everyday activies where intertwined with religious practice such as school, dancing, healthcare, womens rights etc. It is slowly being broken down but back when i was in school it was very present. 

As soon as I got the rocks I had a complete breakdown about my solo idea. I knew in my gut that I wasn't going to be able to fit these rocks into my orginal idea. I was going to have to fit myself into the stones story. Which sounds actually crazy but it turned out to be the best desicion.

For all these improvisations I kept in mind the fact that I would have rocks in my hands. In this one I focus on how soft a rock could feel on the skin? How light I could make it look? also most diasociating from the stereotypical role of a rock I guess.

What is interesting about these photos and video is my realtion to the people watching. Eyes everywhere but i never break focus with the judges (or in the case of church the altar). 

And whats crazy is I don't remember what I do when I walk. Its an unconsious belief that I know what I am doing. Its DOGMATIC MOVEMENT.

The research also spread out past the rocks and to the landscape they cmae from. Giving birth to the first ideas of a costume and lights. 

exploring weight, lightness, going back on the weighted weightlessness qualities. 

By the end of the day my idea for the solo completly changed. I discovered that I do have connection to ireland. I'm connected to the landscape. specifically to the burren and the flaggy shore. And so that is what my solo became. A tribute to my home and to the memories created there.

Time on residency:

The first day of my residency was just connecting to the rocks. Adjusting to the extra weight. Exploring the research I was working with before. What works with the rocks. What doesnt work with them. A lot of questions coming up. 

The process in which the rocks were formed became an interest for more movement qualities. for example thawing and moving.

This poem has really inspired my intentions for my work. I forgot that this poem exsited and when i cam across durning my time in limerick it made my idea make sense to me. Everything that i find beautiful about this place, discribed perfectly with seamus heaneys words. At one point i even had the poem in my music. however i decided to leave it out and say the poem physically with my movment qualitiy and intentions

The poem made me realise so many little details that you over look a lot of the time when you are out there. Like how the light is. And how big the clouds look. The vastness. From this, i began having some concrete light plans. How can i create the flaggy shore on stage with the lights?

The rocks went through geographical changes while in use. compared to the beginning they are noticably darker in colour and smooth. For me, as someone who was very into geology in high school, this is super cool and interesting. Limestone is eroded by hydrochloric acid, specifically the calcium is broken down. this is found in water. so sweat coming from my hands is smoothing and changing the colour of my rocks.

And as artistic research this is also facsinating. When i perform this solo the rocks are going to be completly different and so am I. i find this really beautiful. Also, what changes are they going to go through during the solo bis process? A new perosn and new changes. maybe my solo tris will be about the changes in the rock itself?

This is a collection of videos documenting movement research for the final draft of my solo. A lot of this is rough drafts. however there are a lot of things that have made it into the final draft but have been changed or i have gone deeper into the movement at hand. 

Most of my best ideas when it comes to phrases happens in my bedroom 

Probably my favorite line of discovery was the evolution of this movemet idea. love it!

The way i use space in my solo was unintentional. I had no idea i was walking the same lines at the beach of the flaggy shore until a one on one session with darios. He asked me how did i want to use space in my ending and in that moment a spiral came into my head and then that picture i took also popped up. For me, this was an ahh moment. I realised that everything in my work was adding up and making sense, i could stop worrying now and just dive into my intentions.

I found my dress in a flee market in amsterdam for like two euro. Off white but still satin and shimmery and a little too big which is perfect.

when putting it out i thought this could look really good wet. so i got my plant mister and drenched myself. soooo beautiful! i love how it got really see through and that it was sticking to the body. and how it contrasts with the darkness of the rocks.

But why only have a wet dress? why not be fully wet on stage?  

I really like the image of seeing the nude female body under a sheer satin fabric. i experimented with wearing a bra underneath but i didnt like how in broke up the body. it looks more organic and honest. Also very vunerable.

That one tree

This tree has always captured my interest. It has been the inspiration for lots of artists in the burren. And now it is for me. A vast landscape with with grey ground and a grey sky with one windswept tree standing in a sea of grey rocks. But it doesnt feel bleak. It feels content, whole, warm, at peace.

The costume came to me in a dream. I was dancing on the cliff in a flowy satin dress in colours of a mother of pearl. oversized. Also at the beginning i was testing out painting mackerel stripes on my legs and arms or copying the fossils from the rocks onto my body with white paint or for the stripes black paint. But it felt a bit too much. 

My light research started from seamus heaneys poem. "When the wind and the light are working off each other, so that the ocean on one side is wild with foam and glitter"

How do i capture the light of the flaggy shore in a theatre? Is it possible? There are so many different lights out there. Which do i choose to research? 

Loved the idea of working with warm golden light and then stone grey light. probably in the opposite order. 

I kept going back to my line of inspiration: "we are niether here nor there, a moment in time in which known and strange things pass". I also love when choreographies go in a full circle. Being different but also the same. So the lights at the end are going to be like a sister to the lights at the begining. Same with the movment. 

What i have noticed is that every little detail in my piece as meaning. Which is nice but its a lot of work to up hold. But also i can't do it any other way. The costume and the lights represent the scenery and the landscape. Maybe not in obvious ways but in which i can relate to them and i can see the Flaggy Shore through the decisions i have made.

I decided to write my solo as a story. it made me realise lots of things, giving me a better persective on the lights for example. Like after the disconnection section in is nighttime or dusk

The need to go deeper. its overwhelming how deep i can travel into this dance. When i do it its like i visulise every part of my body in motion. And in every part of the solo the visuals are different. Seperate but also one. Hard to comprahen at times. So i did this:

Music rounds off the the whole scenography of the piece in my opinion. It can make stuff that wouldnt make sense make sense. 

Once i mixed my soundscape that stayed. No changes. But i wanted this wind and wave soundscape to go into some music. It was a real challenge finding the right music. Esspesially because it is a slow moving piece and i didnt what the music influencing the movement quality i had created.

The files are too big for me to upload on this but you get the point.

i ended up going with a harmoisation by twin headed wolf. an irish duet. the echoeing vocals are soothing and healing and remind me of the sea. plus i also this it makes sense to use an irish artist. think it would be a bit wierd to use an american musicans music for example

I thought that I didnt have many intentions. However when i started to write them out I realised that almost every movement in my solo has a seperate intention.