My role was not decided upon, but the musicians would need some signals due to the space we were in.
Apart from that I had to find out what my role would be.
I knew somewhere deep down that I might dance in the piece. It felt exciting to have the possibility to be a dancing conductor and the dynamic in the creative group made me feel totally free to develop my role in what way I would like.
When the rehearsals started we were doing exercises and etudes on the paintings of Guro.
Since I was not an instrumentalist in the process, I would only listen and observe the musical improvisational process.
Sometimes I would feel the urge to take the lead, because I am used to leading, but I had to find a different role and I started by observing.
I soon noticed that my trained conductor's ear was a great resource, and Guro would frequently check in with me for comments on diversity, balance and expression in the totality of the sound.
We would do experiment with me doing different kinds of conducting.
At one point one of the performers, Vivian Wang said: When I am being conducted I stop listening!
I found this very interesting and it resonated with me long after the project was over.
This contributed to push the project further into the direction of listening.
Another important aspect of the project for further research was the fact that
I found out that my interaction with any musician in the project was a total mutual artistic exchange where there was no clear distinction between receiver and initiator. That was an important realization for me and pointed in the direction of a place where nobody is conducting anybody as I write more about in the text Listening as artistic practice and the role of receiving in this kind of exchange.