Almost immediately after starting my Master’s program in Autumn 2018, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called interstitial cystitis which is a chronic pain bladder syndrome. Fortunately, on the spectrum of pain I have what seems to be a mild case, but it has nonetheless had a huge impact on how I go about my life. As the saying goes, health is wealth and I certainly have been humbled to that phrase.
In actuality, this new low would force me to reassess my values as a filmmaker, my limitations and what I was willing to pursue even if it meant failure. This required me to be brutally honest, critically look how I much I wanted to invest in a project and why. Could I sustain two years of a project that might eat at me personally, when I already felt so drained? What could I do with this academic platform that I do have? What’s important to me as a filmmaker, and can the next project give me energy rather than leave me running on empty? And lastly, what kind of film would I want to contribute to in the landscape of documentaries?