For Stacey (290319)
This is researcher clown Stacey Sacks speaking from behind the full body mask of Outi Condit,
(another white body, nothing to see here)
invoking the actor as hypocrite - the one speaks from underneath.
Theatre is tied to a relation of appearing, theatron literally means place for viewing. Directors tell actors: "Everything is visible". I don't know if this is supposed to be a comfort or a threat.
(Is theatre a panopticon?) (Now you see me now you don't)
A medium appears in its failure, or at least in its friction, more like a glitch than a broken hammer, a performance of the subterranean invisible on which every surface depends.
Because I'm an actress I was never medium proper, always medium flavored, not to mention fractured,
I never knew how to do woman, "believably", at least not until I discovered drag.
And desire was always problem, I mean, whose desire?
my representations of desire
my expressions of desire were largely illegible, to that gaze off-stage, on-stage, read as aggression or coldness, "Just be yourself!" "But not like that".
But as a white body I slip into neutrality quite easily, everything is possible, I am invisible, just another drop in a sea of whiteness, (see Ahmed, 2007, A phenomenology of whiteness), the construct is transparent, the medium does its job, and disappears.
How did this body become white? What is embedded in that subterranean invisible, and how can it glitch?
"When you shine a light on white, you see NOTHING! By focusing on this nothing you then place it in the centre, reinforcing its invisibility and the spurious ways this invisibility seeps into the cracks of privileged complicity, perpetuating dominant ideologies."
"The research asks NOTHING of you, except to remember what stinks in the swamp of your own soul, to examine your own biases, prejudices and blind-spots."
And he quotes James Baldwin: "As long as you think you are white, there is no hope for you. "
(Stanley G's performance essay, Stacey Sacks, 2018)