Research Catalogue

Documentation of preliminary steps and collection of musical material and related reflections during the first Term of the Master's Program in Improvisation and World Music. December 2022

We live in an age of Symbolic Misery (Stiegler, 2014). In this era, we listen to the same music, scroll through the same Instagram feeds, and we immerse ourselves in daily lives that are the same as others, gradually losing the 'singularity (Stiegler, 2014)' of individual difference. This homogenized structure of perception continuously reshapes our subjectivity (Simondon, 1958; Hui, 2016), making individual desires no longer emerge from unique experiences or internal generative processes, but are increasingly induced and regulated by external technological and symbolic systems (Stiegler, 2015). In this context, the question is no longer 'What do we produce?' but rather, 'Do our desires still belong to ourselves?'. As Stiegler (2014) pointed out, in order to enter the market more effectively, marketing technologies have developed an industrial aesthetic system centered on audiovisual media. This industrial aesthetic re-functionalizes individual sensory experiences following industrial interests, aiming to produce a replicable and controllable unified taste through the standardized pleasure. This huge 'desire project (libidinal management)' manipulates human drives for externalization through a diversity of apparatus (Agamben, 2009; Foucault, 1977), generating a sense of 'participation' via formalized interaction, restricting the level of perception and expression (Stiegler, 2015). Through daily repetition, this process gradually weakens the individual’s ability for subjectivation, trapping them within a passive structure of desire (Stiegler, 2014). This exposition is based on an artistic research project titled 'I Don’t Know Who I Am', an installation game. It invites players to watch a five-minute monologue, the story of a cow (inspired by, for example, Lacan et al., 2001), to explore the secrets hidden within this cow’s desire. After watching the video, the player will face a plate of real grass with soya sauce, and be invited to make a choice: whether or not to eat the grass. This installation game encourages players to reflect on a critical question: At a time when industrial aesthetics and subjective experience standardize individual desire, is increasingly hollowed out, where do our desires truly come from? Do they still emerge from internal generative processes, or have they long been preconditioned and disciplined by technological objects and symbolic systems?

How can I, as a workshop facilitator, create inclusive, inviting and transformative spaces for sparking moments of joy around diversity? How does my training as an artist, researcher and teacher inform and enable my role as a workshop facilitator, such that I can support radical expressions of self-acceptance? What are the limitations to my role, and what possibilities may lie ahead through continued reflection and practice? I have worked through these questions by exploring the concept of vulnerability through a/r/tographic theories and practices, with the culmination of my research and reflections shared in this exposition. Though I have long hosted workshops in marginalised communities as a means for building resilience and kinship, only in the past year have I begun to analyse, from theoretical and methodological perspectives, how and why certain approaches work. Again and again, my reflective meanderings take me back to a single core concept, namely vulnerability. By being vulnerable, one becomes open and raw, which — in certain conditions — can lead to curiosity, risk-taking and remarkable creativity. With such an open and desiring mind, creative practices like crafting can evoke radical feelings of joy and appreciation around a topic that otherwise may tend to conjure conflicting or undesirable feelings. Vulnerability is particularly important in my work because the primary focus of my workshops has been bodily joy. Largely, I have hosted workshops wherein we have explored positive feelings of one’s gender diverse experiences, expressions or identity through paper crafting. Recently, I have also begun hosting crafting workshops, in which we forest bathe (friluftsliv) then craft on the joy one has felt in communion with nature. Crafting becomes an extension of the self, a temporary reincarnation of our own materiality in which we bring to life an alternative understanding of our own potential. In this exposition, I address the questions above by drawing on two example workshops, Crafting Gender Diverse Joy, and Crafting Joy in Nature -- hosted in April and May 2025, respectively. The organisation of this exposition is inspired by L. Balzi’s ice cracks metaphor (2023), Irwin's rhizomatic walking method (2013), and LeBlanc's The Wake (2019). The workshop process as a whole is a reverberation of impulses rippling outwards without end. I navigate these reverberations through a visual mapping of a rhizomatic system of roots sprawling from a tree in Bymarka. The roots are vast web of connections, largely hidden beneath the ground as points of potential. With our imaginations, we can appreciate the complexity of this web, just as we can trace the multiple invisible processes that lead us to our eventual a/r/tographic choices. I invite you to wander across these knots and walls, encountering the various descriptive concepts, or 'centres of vibration', to borrow from Deleuze and Guattari (1994; in Irwin & Springgay, 2008). The layout is roughly guided by the three stages of the workshop process (planning, workshop, aftercare), sprinkled with key concepts, theories, and practices. I also include documentation from the workshops, such as photos and crafts (with permission granted). Enjoy your own wandering. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Thesis of the Royal Academy of Art, The Hague, 2023 BA Photography With the recent cultural emphasis on the pursuit of happiness, the expression of negative emotions seems to be neglected. The impact of not valuing and integrating emotions that can be viewed as negative can be detrimental to one’s well-being. There seems to be a widespread denial or suppression of such emotions that, eventually, can lead to problems such as self-esteem problems, depression, anxiety, etc. This has led to the urge to better understand what this observation is based on. How do you dress? What parts of your life do you share? What version of yourself do you show? Do you show the socially acceptable version or the raw and authentic version of yourself? There seems to be an unspoken rule that dictates how people should behave and portray themselves in front of others, showing only the positive aspects of their life. Taking this concept to a photographic level, I have encountered this scenario many times. You walk up to somebody and ask if you can take a picture of them. Their body tenses up, they rise tall and proud, and their smile stretches from ear to ear. They suddenly seem to be the happiest they have been all day, just for the picture. This is also the reality of social media. Once you open the app you are sucked into a wonderland. Posts and stories of people seemingly living their best lives, travelling, smiling, flexing, and comparing themselves to a #FAKEBODY. This makes me question what power photography holds in this day and age. In what ways could photography be used as a tool used to suppress our emotions instead of allowing us to express our true feelings? Through the use of chaptersation and personal stories, this thesis is presented by different emotions. By doing this, my aim is to create awareness and highlight the emphasis of emotions, making the reader question their own feelings and emotions, taking what resonates and helping them to tap into into their own body.

Thesis of the Royal Academy of Art The Hague 2023 BA fashion and textile Imelda Marcos was the First Lady of the Philippines for 20 years. She is an image of wealth (ill gotten) and the display of wealth. She is real and not real, her possession of wealth is real and not real. The image display of fake wealth by Imelda is not isolated, it is the humour of contemporary culture ‘fake it til you make it’. It is also fuelled by our daily life in the consumption of technology. Instead of criticising these behaviours of displaying fake wealth, we embody them somehow, it intrigues us to the extent of making films such as on Netflix ‘Inventing Anna’ and ‘Tinder Swindler’. ‘Generation fake wealth’ is a group of people whose goal is to portray having abundance in wealth despite their financial capacity. It is this extravagance in life that excites reality. This research will look into the diverse areas of thoughts and great people of our time. It will traverse to different ideologies such as: postmodernism, social capital, the search for beauty in this troubled times and political identity. They are important because they discuss the complex intertwining of realities, the reality itself and its possible multiple copies. The intangible commodity is the image; the image is a reflection of reality but not the absolute truth which we assume to be real. Social media is the main platform for portraying our alternative reality and its discrete influence

Thesis of the Royal Academy of Art, The Hague 2022 MA Artistic Research Writing introductions and quickly pitching my thesis must have become easier by now I suppose. I’ve talked about it so much these past months and to my surprise people get excited when I do. Somewhere along the fragmented lines of my communication I must do something good. I’ve caught myself often in that I keep saying the same thing. Which I suppose I will do again now when people ask me what it is about. It’s a multifocal piece, written my me and my friends, through conversations and interviews, in which we try to deconstruct our notions on intimacy. I guess it’s about (auto)cannibalism, sliminess, sex, love, anglerfish, grinder, bodies, sickness, healing and community too. The body as an archipelago and a guide to how to slowly consume oneself and the other.