'Ponderings'  (spoken fieldnotes 2023 transcribed) 


2nd January 2023 under a pine in Kaivopuisto Park, this time a new pine, a pine higher up on the hill, not far from the Observatory, but nevertheless on the slope and with a convenient rock next to it. It's a beautiful pine, very different in form than the two pines that I performed with in the same park last year. This is not a pine as magnificent as the one I was visiting almost daily when I was in Helsinki, but this is maybe a taller pine, and in some sense more normal, and it has a very beautiful location. It's somehow strange that I haven't noticed it before or there are a few of these pines on the slope next to the one that I visited, but this is special because there is a place where I could sit next to it, if I think of this pine as the one that would be writing letters to the pine in Stockholm and receiving letters from the pine there as well. I still haven't decided if it's going to be all in writing and then reading aloud what is written or if I should maybe start speaking, too. But in any case I decided to continue with some sort of 'ponderings' as well, so this was the first pondering for this year. And hello pine, I have to greet you now when I stand beneath you, hello. I hope we will get along well during the year, but why not. I won't bother you too often, because my plan is to come here approximately once a month or so. Alright, so thanks for this beginning, bye.

Nobelparken 15th of January 2023. Here I'm standing only 20 m or maybe 50 from my previous friend, but this pine is older, a little bit taller, but it's also much closer to the street and Berwaldhallen and the image with this pine is very different, more urban. I just performed a small session sitting on the rock next to the pine and writing as if the pine, so as if the pine would have given me my words, would have dictated the letter to me that I have promised to write down and read to the pine in Helsinki. This was the first test for a work that I'm planning to do called Pine to Pine or, because I write in Swedish, it will be called Tallar emellan, rather directly translated between pines. I don't know if it's gonna work but I have at least started now and the idea is that I make diptych with one image where I write the letter and the other where I read it to the other pine, who is the receiver and then vice a versa. And I chose this beautiful pine in Nobelparken partly to have some reason to come back here once a month or so. It's quite weird not to have a more regular practice now but maybe something will come up. So hello new pine, how should I say, I called you by accident or impromptu Tallen på kullen, the pine on the hill, so maybe you are the pine on the hill. Anyway, thanks for today and see you next month, maybe.

21st of January quater past three in the afternoon on the shore in Kaivopuisto Park by the two pines that are up on the slope right opposite Harakka Island. I came here on my way to  say hello to the pine I am working with this year and to look at the fog - you can hear the sound of the ships. I thought, I don't have my camera with me, I just thought I'd say hello to the pine, but then on the way I realised I could stop by these two pines here where I can see the sea and the fog and save the visit to my performer colleague, the real pine so to speak to next Saturday when I return from Tallinn. I'm going, I came from Stockholm this morning and I will go to Tallinn next morning. I will come back from there already on Wednesday but I'm sitting in a zoom meeting on Thursday and Friday so the next time I can get out with the camera in day time will be in a week. Let's see what the weather looks like then. Now it's funny to come from them very dry and wet and not-white- at-all Stockholm to the white Helsinki. Here there is minus degrees and still plenty of snow, which makes everything beautiful. And the fog, too, of course. There is ice on the sea but it's not durable ice. I see there's a boat that has been going through and I wouldn't walk on that ice yet but it might become stronger soon. Well, I hope there is a clearer weather tomorrow when I'm going to be on the boat so I can see something, but for now, nice to see the pines doing fine and they are both very beautiful. Alright, so see you in a week, bye.

28th of January in Kaivopuisto park next to the pine I thought I would be talking with today and performing for camera with, but it's much too windy. Now I stand partly sheltered by the pine but the camera wouldn't even manage to stay on its tripod, I think. It's 11 m per second, not horribly much, but enough to make everything very difficult. And tonight the wind will decrease but then it will be already dark, so I have to try tomorrow again. Although tomorrow I plan to go to Seurasaari to meet the pine there, but perhaps I can combine both. That's a little bit sad but, alright tomorrow again. Thanks.

31st of January 2023 under the pine or next to the pine in Kaivopuisto park, the new pine of the year that is. I just performed two attempts at reading the letter from the pine in Nobelparken to this pine as an experiment with the project Tallar emellan or pine to pine or how do you want to translate that in Swedish. And it's too windy so I did it twice, I don't know if it was any better the second time. And then I also wrote a new letter in response from the pine here to the pine in Nobelparken in Stockholm. And I realised the problem that writing the text is so much slower, absolutely double the time than reading it even if I tried to read super slowly. Of course now it's so cold and windy that I didn't somehow, I wasn't able to concentrate to really try to write something properly, but it's funny to use this moment of writing to somehow see what comes up. Often when I in my conversations with the pine I somehow plan a topic in advance, but now I realised I started to somehow impersonate a pine character, which is stupid. I don't know I have to explore this format further, I'm not so happy with the idea yet, but we'll see. This was an attempt, alright, so thanks for that.

Sunday fifth of February 2023 in Nobelparken. It's snowing. I read a letter from the pine in Kaivopuisto park to a nearby pine here and also made an experiment with speaking on dictation as if it were, because I'm starting or experimenting with a new project called Tallar emellan, between pines, which is sort of a conversation between a pine hear in Nobelparken and a pine in Helsinki. But after doing that I came to visit my old friend that I performed with last year repeatedly, which is growing not so far from this new pine on the same hill. And it looks as if it's doing fine, the branch that was broken and that was lying on the ground has been removed or maybe the kids have used it as a material for their hut next to another pine tree not far from here. Anyway it's cold and snow is falling but I wanted to say hello to my old friend and also to note that I'm somehow slightly dissatisfied now with this idea of creating a conversation pine to pine or between pines, because it somehow becomes so fictional. And I have difficulties in sort of finding what to speak because I somehow feel like I'm impersonating the pine trees or I have to somehow think what would be relevant from the perspective of a pine tree. And of course that's the challenge that I wanted to somehow experiment with, but I'm not good at it so far, so it feels somehow stupid and childish, but I have to keep on trying to investigate what would be the best way. But anyway, this was just a quick note for where I am at, at the moment. So see you again, bye.

Nobelparken the 12th of March under the pine that I'm currently working with or collaborating with. It's sunny, cold. I'm talking Swedish with the pine so I thought I'd record a brief note in English in my field notes or 'ponderings' for this year. And my main, my main attempt now in Stockholm is with this pine tree that I'm trying to communicate with together with a pine in Brunnsparken in Helsinki, so I'm serving as a messenger between them. And I started by trying to write a letter that I then read in Helsinki and then the pine there wrote a letter which I read to the pine here, and then I experimented with talking instead, and the last version was that I tried to... There is a dog owner here discussing with passers-by in the park, but anyway, so the last version was that we try to hum or they, the pine trees tried to hum to each other. And I just recorded my attempt at humming next to the pine. And that's a real challenge for me because I have no experience and I've always been a bad singer and I don't have a good ear or music is a strange field for me. But a little bit of harming you can experiment with, of course. The other thing I'm doing in Stockholm is that I'm visiting at least once when I come here, I'm visiting a maple tree in Kastellholmen. And it has nothing to do with his project of pondering with pines, but it's a very beautiful old maple tree with low lying branches that are easy to sit on and climb on. So I've been doing all kinds of experiments with it. And for no real purpose except for studying various approaches and also various after effects or editing strategies and filters and so on. But with this pine I'm sort of working in a very analog manner. And it's a beautiful pine, but unfortunately I really cannot hear or sense what it wants to transmit to the colleague in Helsinki so I have to imagine a little bit and that's what I don't really like. I like the straightforward attitude, where when I speak to a pine I can treat a pine with respect but I don't have to put any words in its mouth, but now, when I'm sort of playing with this idea of the pine to pine and communication, I'm suddenly working with fiction and that's also a strange area for me strangely enough. But anyway, this is what's going on right now and at least I'll try a few more strategies just for the sake of the experiment. Thanks for today. Bye.