'Ponderings'  (spoken fieldnotes 2023 transcribed) 


2nd January 2023 under a pine in Kaivopuisto Park, this time a new pine, a pine higher up on the hill, not far from the Observatory, but nevertheless on the slope and with a convenient rock next to it. It's a beautiful pine, very different in form than the two pines that I performed with in the same park last year. This is not a pine as magnificent as the one I was visiting almost daily when I was in Helsinki, but this is maybe a taller pine, and in some sense more normal, and it has a very beautiful location. It's somehow strange that I haven't noticed it before or there are a few of these pines on the slope next to the one that I visited, but this is special because there is a place where I could sit next to it, if I think of this pine as the one that would be writing letters to the pine in Stockholm and receiving letters from the pine there as well. I still haven't decided if it's going to be all in writing and then reading aloud what is written or if I should maybe start speaking, too. But in any case I decided to continue with some sort of 'ponderings' as well, so this was the first pondering for this year. And hello pine, I have to greet you now when I stand beneath you, hello. I hope we will get along well during the year, but why not. I won't bother you too often, because my plan is to come here approximately once a month or so. Alright, so thanks for this beginning, bye.

Nobelparken 15th of January 2023. Here I'm standing only 20 m or maybe 50 from my previous friend, but this pine is older, a little bit taller, but it's also much closer to the street and Berwaldhallen and the image with this pine is very different, more urban. I just performed a small session sitting on the rock next to the pine and writing as if the pine, so as if the pine would have given me my words, would have dictated the letter to me that I have promised to write down and read to the pine in Helsinki. This was the first test for a work that I'm planning to do called Pine to Pine or, because I write in Swedish, it will be called Tallar emellan, rather directly translated between pines. I don't know if it's gonna work but I have at least started now and the idea is that I make diptych with one image where I write the letter and the other where I read it to the other pine, who is the receiver and then vice a versa. And I chose this beautiful pine in Nobelparken partly to have some reason to come back here once a month or so. It's quite weird not to have a more regular practice now but maybe something will come up. So hello new pine, how should I say, I called you by accident or impromptu Tallen på kullen, the pine on the hill, so maybe you are the pine on the hill. Anyway, thanks for today and see you next month, maybe.

21st of January quater past three in the afternoon on the shore in Kaivopuisto Park by the two pines that are up on the slope right opposite Harakka Island. I came here on my way to  say hello to the pine I am working with this year and to look at the fog - you can hear the sound of the ships. I thought, I don't have my camera with me, I just thought I'd say hello to the pine, but then on the way I realised I could stop by these two pines here where I can see the sea and the fog and save the visit to my performer colleague, the real pine so to speak to next Saturday when I return from Tallinn. I'm going, I came from Stockholm this morning and I will go to Tallinn next morning. I will come back from there already on Wednesday but I'm sitting in a zoom meeting on Thursday and Friday so the next time I can get out with the camera in day time will be in a week. Let's see what the weather looks like then. Now it's funny to come from them very dry and wet and not-white- at-all Stockholm to the white Helsinki. Here there is minus degrees and still plenty of snow, which makes everything beautiful. And the fog, too, of course. There is ice on the sea but it's not durable ice. I see there's a boat that has been going through and I wouldn't walk on that ice yet but it might become stronger soon. Well, I hope there is a clearer weather tomorrow when I'm going to be on the boat so I can see something, but for now, nice to see the pines doing fine and they are both very beautiful. Alright, so see you in a week, bye.

28th of January in Kaivopuisto park next to the pine I thought I would be talking with today and performing for camera with, but it's much too windy. Now I stand partly sheltered by the pine but the camera wouldn't even manage to stay on its tripod, I think. It's 11 m per second, not horribly much, but enough to make everything very difficult. And tonight the wind will decrease but then it will be already dark, so I have to try tomorrow again. Although tomorrow I plan to go to Seurasaari to meet the pine there, but perhaps I can combine both. That's a little bit sad but, alright tomorrow again. Thanks.

31st of January 2023 under the pine or next to the pine in Kaivopuisto park, the new pine of the year that is. I just performed two attempts at reading the letter from the pine in Nobelparken to this pine as an experiment with the project Tallar emellan or pine to pine or how do you want to translate that in Swedish. And it's too windy so I did it twice, I don't know if it was any better the second time. And then I also wrote a new letter in response from the pine here to the pine in Nobelparken in Stockholm. And I realised the problem that writing the text is so much slower, absolutely double the time than reading it even if I tried to read super slowly. Of course now it's so cold and windy that I didn't somehow, I wasn't able to concentrate to really try to write something properly, but it's funny to use this moment of writing to somehow see what comes up. Often when I in my conversations with the pine I somehow plan a topic in advance, but now I realised I started to somehow impersonate a pine character, which is stupid. I don't know I have to explore this format further, I'm not so happy with the idea yet, but we'll see. This was an attempt, alright, so thanks for that.

Sunday fifth of February 2023 in Nobelparken. It's snowing. I read a letter from the pine in Kaivopuisto park to a nearby pine here and also made an experiment with speaking on dictation as if it were, because I'm starting or experimenting with a new project called Tallar emellan, between pines, which is sort of a conversation between a pine hear in Nobelparken and a pine in Helsinki. But after doing that I came to visit my old friend that I performed with last year repeatedly, which is growing not so far from this new pine on the same hill. And it looks as if it's doing fine, the branch that was broken and that was lying on the ground has been removed or maybe the kids have used it as a material for their hut next to another pine tree not far from here. Anyway it's cold and snow is falling but I wanted to say hello to my old friend and also to note that I'm somehow slightly dissatisfied now with this idea of creating a conversation pine to pine or between pines, because it somehow becomes so fictional. And I have difficulties in sort of finding what to speak because I somehow feel like I'm impersonating the pine trees or I have to somehow think what would be relevant from the perspective of a pine tree. And of course that's the challenge that I wanted to somehow experiment with, but I'm not good at it so far, so it feels somehow stupid and childish, but I have to keep on trying to investigate what would be the best way. But anyway, this was just a quick note for where I am at, at the moment. So see you again, bye.

Nobelparken the 12th of March under the pine that I'm currently working with or collaborating with. It's sunny, cold. I'm talking Swedish with the pine so I thought I'd record a brief note in English in my field notes or 'ponderings' for this year. And my main, my main attempt now in Stockholm is with this pine tree that I'm trying to communicate with together with a pine in Brunnsparken in Helsinki, so I'm serving as a messenger between them. And I started by trying to write a letter that I then read in Helsinki and then the pine there wrote a letter which I read to the pine here, and then I experimented with talking instead, and the last version was that I tried to... There is a dog owner here discussing with passers-by in the park, but anyway, so the last version was that we try to hum or they, the pine trees tried to hum to each other. And I just recorded my attempt at humming next to the pine. And that's a real challenge for me because I have no experience and I've always been a bad singer and I don't have a good ear or music is a strange field for me. But a little bit of harming you can experiment with, of course. The other thing I'm doing in Stockholm is that I'm visiting at least once when I come here, I'm visiting a maple tree in Kastellholmen. And it has nothing to do with his project of pondering with pines, but it's a very beautiful old maple tree with low lying branches that are easy to sit on and climb on. So I've been doing all kinds of experiments with it. And for no real purpose except for studying various approaches and also various after effects or editing strategies and filters and so on. But with this pine I'm sort of working in a very analog manner. And it's a beautiful pine, but unfortunately I really cannot hear or sense what it wants to transmit to the colleague in Helsinki so I have to imagine a little bit and that's what I don't really like. I like the straightforward attitude, where when I speak to a pine I can treat a pine with respect but I don't have to put any words in its mouth, but now, when I'm sort of playing with this idea of the pine to pine and communication, I'm suddenly working with fiction and that's also a strange area for me strangely enough. But anyway, this is what's going on right now and at least I'll try a few more strategies just for the sake of the experiment. Thanks for today. Bye.

Good Friday, seventh of April 2023 in Nobelparken in under the pine that I just performed with, or perform is maybe to say too much, tried to get some sounds out of a Jew's harp. The traffic noise is quite strong; right now there's some police cars and things, but basically it's calm, but many shops are open and the city seems to live as usual even though it's Good Friday. I haven't been recording any 'ponderings' for awhile so I decided to just make a few notes here. As I said before I'm not so very happy with this dialogue between the pines in Nobelparken and Brunnsparken, but I try to continue with that a few more times, at least until midsummer or perhaps as long as I can stay in the flat where I'm staying here. I'm looking for a new one; that's exciting part. Now most of the snow is gone; there are small patches, white patches here and there but it feels like spring, although today the grey sky is... well, this is April. I should be preparing for the SAR conference in Trondheim, where I should speak about my 'ponderings' with a pine in the park in Helsinki, especially the ones I do in English for the podcast. Because this exchange between the pines in Stockholm and in Helsinki, although the Helsinki pine is the same pine, these I'm not publishing as podcasts and the conversation is taking place mostly nonverbally and if verbally, then in Swedish and so on. Well, maybe this is all for now, yeah. Thanks, thanks pine for listening to me and see you again soon.

It's the 21st of May in Nobelparken in Stockholm, and I've just recorded my last message from the pine to the pine in Helsinki. There might be a reply by the pine in Helsinki that I will have to present so this is probably not my last visit to Nobelparken, but next to last, but anyway, it feels like a completion of sorts. And part of that is, of course due to the fact that I've been moving house. I've spent two nights already in my new home on Kungsholmen and I still have a few days to clean my old flat, which is much nearer here so I'm moving west. And it's quite a while since I've been here and now it's like full summer, all green and today especially it's super warm. And the pine has large new sort of future cones. I have forgotten already but somehow that the male cones with pollen are the ones, I think that are the ones now lower and then the female ones that will turn into pinecones are higher up but I'm not sure. Anyway, it's much too warm to wear a black woollen pullover so it's really warm although there are some clouds that bring a little bit of relief. I wonder, I'm planning to look for a new pine to have conversations with in Kronobergsparken near the place where I'm now moving or have moved, but of course I might come back to Nobelparken at some point. But anyway, I'm very grateful for these two years with two pines, first the one a little bit further south from here and now this year or half year with this beautiful pine that I am standing under at the moment. Well, let's see, this idea of exchanges between a pine in Helsinki and a pine in Stockholm was not that exciting as I hoped but at least I've made an attempt. So let's see what it can be used for by editing. Thanks anyway, bye.

Hello Pine, it's Sunday 18th of June and I just came from Harakka Island, from the boat and had the impulse to come and say hello to you and thank you, because I've just taken down the exhibition Pondering with Pines in the Telegraph Gallery, where you were one of the main performers together with another pine further up on the slope. Because I presented all the 12 conversations with you I had during the year 2022. Okay, my aim is not not to record this as a podcast or I'm not video filming this with a camera or anything, this will be... But I'm recording this, because it will be like some sort of field notes or 'ponderings' for me. But the impulse was so strong to say thank you because of course after we collaborated all the year 2022, I have sort of completely abandoned you. Sometimes I've looked at you when I've been passing here, but after all you taught me quite a lot about what talking to pines might mean. And this special capacity of yours that I can sit on your branch is really something not so common, so it should be appreciated. Well, I'm quite happy with the exhibition after all, although it was simple and I published a brief blog post about it today. But of course, it's always a little bit sad to take down an exhibition. And well, it's very easy to take down an exhibition with video works; it took me only one hour today and most of the time was just to take down the curtains used for blocking all the light. It's very windy today and I can feel your trunk move when your crown is touched by the wind. I don't know how much of what I'm talking will be audible, but it doesn't matter. It's more important that I can now meet you one more time. And you look like before, it makes me happy, although you have a lot of resin on your trunk and I have some of it on my hands, too, so probably something is bothering you. But anyway, I'm continuing on my walk and this was just to say thank you, so one more time really, really, really very much thank you for all the help you gave. Take care. 

Nobelparken, Midsummer Day, 24th of June 2023. Sunny, hot, a little bit windy at times. I just recorded my last visit of the exchange between the pines here and in Helsinki, something that I've called Tallar emellan, an experiment. That means that this is probably also my last visit to this park, where I visited another pine regularly in 2022 and now have been visiting this pine that I'm sitting next to. In some sense it feels a little bit sad, but I also have already made acquaintance with a new pine in Kronobergsparken in the other end of the city, where I am nowadays living. So this is in Östermalm and now I'm living in Västermalm, in Kungsholmen. So well, maybe I should thank this park, not only the pine tree that I'm sitting next to, which has been so accommodating and patient but the whole park, which is now changing. There is more furniture for kids and so on. But right now there is nobody else but me. And no wonder, because the whole city is rather empty of people, except for the tourists, and then of course, some people who have moved in from abroad and don't have this legacy of cottages or relatives to visit in the countryside. So anyway, time to leave this park behind and explore new ones. Thank you and have a great summer, yes.